Let’s face it ­­you never get a second chance to make a first impression!

That’s why, if you want to take things further with a woman, you need to show her your best on the very first date. And in actual fact, there are 5 things that men consistently do on first dates that totally destroy their chances of seeing the woman again, and the worst part is they think they’re doing it right!

Avoid the following 5 mistakes to increase your chances of success on your first date:

MISTAKE #1 — BUYING GIFTS

Bringing chocolate or flowers on a first date isn’t the best idea – especially if you’ve just met the woman! She’s there to get to know YOU. Women are always asking themselves “what does THAT mean?” And in this case it’s, “He bought me flowers because he likes me, but he doesn’t even know anything about me yet! A little suspicious.

MISTAKE #2 — BEING MR. SERIOUS

When in the presence of a potential date, men often become boring, instead of keeping up the friendly vibe they have with their friends. They won’t make jokes or laugh with the woman, they don’t play around like they do with their friends and they generally take things a little too seriously. Why do men change their behavior around women, often without even realizing they’re doing it? Because they fear losing their only chance with the girl of their dreams, they try and play the safe side, which results in a “Mr. Serious.”

MISTAKE #3 — CONDUCTING AN INTERVIEW

When men become “Mr. Serious” they often fall into “job interview conversation mode.” Make sure you reserve questions like, “So where do you work?” or “How many brothers and sisters do you have?” for the future, after you’ve already had a lot of fun and made the sparks fly. Instead, talk about your hobbies, interesting stories and fun stuff. Avoid anything too deep for a long period of time. On a first date, it can make things a little depressing. Talk like you’ve known each other for years (as if you don’t need to do the awkward 20-questions quiz.) Of course you can ask basic questions, but never make it the main focus of your date. Focus on fun.

MISTAKE #4 — BEING TOO NEEDY & DIRECT

Without realizing it, many guys turn their dates off by trying a little too hard. For example: Men will lean into a woman’s personal space, and ask, “so do you like me?” or constantly change his opinion to seek her approval and make her like him. Big mistake. Ironically, it’s leaning back, staying cool and calm, being a little cheeky, interesting, mysterious and comfortable with yourself that actually gets a woman’s attention and keeps her interested.

MISTAKE #5 — GOING TO BORING PLACES

If your date finds the night boring, you’re finished. When it comes to having fun on first dates, nothing is more important than what you do. And while dinners and movies are nice, it’s really hard to leave a great impression in these settings. Why? Because they set a very “proper tone” that’s hard to turn into fun and playful. And unless you’re a super funny, intelligent and interesting guy, dinner and movie dates just aren’t the best place to take your date. Instead, go to fun places like mini-golf parks, carnivals, parks, or even better, come up with your own unique and fun ideas.

So in essence, while there are many factors to having a successful date, a great date idea really helps you do many of them naturally! Remember, where you take a woman on a first date can be the difference between a great night and a dating disaster! Choose wisely!

About the author:

Oprah Expert Michael Webb is the author of 300 Creative Dates, a book jam-packed with unique ways to help leave a great first impression without breaking the bank! To learn more or order your copy click here!

So for fun, fill me in on some of your first date blunders…

If you would like more information about our date coaching programs please feel free to email directly at Denise@MissMatchMaker.net with your questions or visit my Personal Services page.

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

“The most common reason seemed to be people having inappropriate sexual chats with people they were not supposed to.”

Even little things like someone leaving a flirtatious comment on your “wall” could put your relationship on the road to hell, if not handled appropriately.  What would you consider emotional cheating?

So how do relationships withstand the numerous obstacles of today’s online society?

First off, be honest with yourself and your partner. Often I see relationships where too much time is spent in the online world and not enough time in the real world. Is there “something” that you are getting from the online world that you are lacking in your real world? What can be done to fix this?

Second, think before you post anything! Ask yourself “How might my partner feel about this?”

“Honey, do you think this picture is too sexy or inappropriate to put on…”

HELLO?? If you have to ask, chances are the answer is “Yes!” Instead, look in the mirror, look at your relationship. If you are in a relationship and feel the need to post sexy pictures of yourself on social networking sites it is most likely because you are feeling insecure with yourself and may like the ego boost of a stranger’s attention because you are not getting enough attention from your partner. If this is the case, talk about it.

So why am I writing about people in relationships when most of my readers are single?

My answer is; learn from their mistakes. When you start dating (even after being single for awhile) sometimes you forget the simple things.

So, if there is this girl you are interested in and she is even considering you, she WILL check out your MySpace and your Facebook and this WILL be a part of her decision making process as to whether she will go out with you or not! And, yes ladies, this applies to you as well…

p.s.  If you feel you may need a little push in the right direction visit my Personal Services Page to determine how I may be able to help!  If you are ready for dating, what are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today today!

Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

Did you ever notice in your life that certain people just suck the life right out of you? These can be people you work with, relatives, friends or even lovers. You know those people I am referring to. They don’t even know how negative they are; always complaining, nagging, even complaining to you about your life! Seriously, I have to live my life and I spend my days attempting to make people happy. I don’t need someone making it more difficult than it already is.

The other day I stumbled onto this great audio presentation by Ray Stendall entitled Energy Vampires. Take a few minutes and listen to this audio (click here). I promise some light bulbs will start going off! As I was listening to this I thought to myself WOW I am doing this right now!

I remember reading a blog by Ronit Baras a few years ago. It was a spring cleaning as I refer to it or as Ronit calls it an Emotional Garage Sale of old emotions, thoughts and beliefs. If we take the time to spring clean our emotions and get rid of the extra clutter in our head we can move forward in a more positive manner. Sometimes this actually includes people as well.

Combining Ronit’s Garage Sale and Ray’s presentation of Energy Vampires together is what I call a Negativity Purge and it should be done often! Let go of old negative emotions, feelings, thoughts, beliefs and people. They will only bring you down and attract more negativity. Let it all go and press on in a positive path and the world will be a happier place for you…and that is the best time to let love come into your life!

p.s.  If you feel you may need a little push in the right direction visit my Personal Services Page to determine how I may be able to help!  If you are ready for dating, what are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today today!

Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

Anger is one of the phases of the grieving process. It is natural to become angry when you have lost something or someone which you truly loved. Anger in itself provides us with a way of becoming the victim and allows us not to have to take responsibility for our mistakes. In order to grow as a person we must learn how to take responsibility for our mistakes, learn from them and press on.

Anger takes up so much energy that could be better used in other ways. When you hold on to anger it takes up certain portions of your heart. When these portions of your heart are filled with anger you can not completely open your heart and love yourself, much less someone else. One way to help let go of that anger is through forgiveness. You must learn to forgive yourself first before you can forgive others.

True forgiveness is to be able to understand that there is some light in each person’s soul, including your own. When you can find that flicker of light despite all that has been said and done, you can find true forgiveness and there becomes a sense of peace in your own soul that brightens you up both inside and out, despite the darkness. It sometimes even evokes a sense of pity for the other person.

We can not change others, we can not change their behavior. The only person we can change is ourselves. When we forgive it does not matter how much darkness fills their soul and attempts to hide their light because our own light shines bright enough and opens up those portions of your heart that had previously been full of anger. Additionally, to be able to see that light in others despite all the evils is very liberating…in a sense, a right of passage…I choose to shine!

Forgiveness is the first step in allowing yourself to love again.

p.s.  If you feel you may need help moving on please visit my Personal Services page to find out how I could personally help to get you pointed in the right direction and on the path to forgiveness and recovery.  If you have achieved forgiveness and are ready to open your heart to love once more  submit your free confidential profile today today!

Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

Written by:  Michelle Colon-Johnson

Learning to just say “Thank You”

A few days ago I signed up for  on line webinar for a life coaching class. One of the things they talked about is that a lot of us do not know how to say Thank you. We often feel guilty when someone gives us a compliment. Now we don’t think on the surface we feel guilty; it is mostly subconsciously. For example when someone says,” Hey you look great in that dress.” Most of us instead of saying thank you we will say something like,” OH I got it on sale or you would look better in it than me”. This is a pattern I think I have had all of my life. It stemmed from childhood poverty then adult insecurities left over from broken relationships. Somewhere along the line I never learned to just say Thank You! After that hour webinar I was so excited and told myself I would practice saying Thank you…

After all, if I did not think I deserved to look nice or have the things I was complimented on then what would make someone else believe I deserved these things? I got up the next morning and walked through my day saying nice things to others and accepting compliments. I am doing good right? Well last night I see a friend in the grocery store. I never get to see Patti much anymore except on Face Book so when I saw her my face lit up and we hugged. We exchanged what had been going on in each others lives and then Patti does the THING.. Yep she said,” Michelle you look great! You look like a teenager”! What do I do? I immediately fall back into my old way of thinking and say, ” Why don’t I feel younger? I am sooo tired and she looked at me and said,” Even if you FEEL tired you still look GREAT so when someone tells you how great you look say Thank You! They will never know how you feel. This is when I realized The Law of attraction had kicked in! Patti was there to reinforce the promise I made to myself to love myself! I said you know what.. YOU ARE RIGHT! Thank you for reminding me of this!

I got home after the grocery store and all night I thought to myself what made me retreat back into THAT girl? Then it hit me.. I had seen my ex fiancé that use to constantly Knock me down and diminish my self worth.. I saw him early in the day as I was meeting a friend for lunch. Why did I let him have the power to do that to me? Well they teach you in order to clean the clutter out of your mind and environment you have to BELIEVE TO RECEIVE. Believe you deserve to be treated better. I woke up this morning feeling a lot better. I KNEW I had people in my life encouraging me along on my journey and supporting me. People who loved me and people who BELIEVED IN ME! After running several errands today I saw the Flower shop and I realized it was a sign to give back. I turned my car around and went inside and looked for the perfect gift to give my friend. I found some yellow roses. I then went to the school where my dear friend Patti works and gave her the flowers! Her face was one of confusion.. she looked at me and her eyes teared up she said,” Michelle why are you giving me flowers”? I said because I just listened to a class the other day on learning how to accept a compliment and I failed miserably when you complimented me. You for some reason KNEW what lesson I needed to learn and taught it lovingly and without judgment. Thank You for being MY friend and I hope these flowers make your day as special as you made mine. She hugged me and she said,” I am proud of all the changes you have made in your life and all the ones you are making now”. I looked at her and said “THANK YOU! You will never know how much your friendship has meant to me. We said our good byes and I walked to my car and all the way I felt this weight being lifted from my heart. Thank you Patti! Sending you my love…

For those of you out there struggling to make better choices in your life or just wanting some hope my advice is to start with what is in side you. Believe in YOURSELF and then you will attract all the things you want in your life. From every failure a success is created! Smooches to all…

About Michelle:

Michelle Colon-Johnson is a model and small business owner in the Panhandle of Florida. Michelle believes in Living The Law Of Attraction and loves sharing her journey with others who are looking to make their dreams come true. Michelle is a Mother to an Autistic teenage daughter, a stage four cancer survivor and like many of us has been through relationships that leave us emotionally bankrupt. What do you do when you file bankruptcy? You start all over again with more knowledge and a thirst for a better life. Where do you start? Michelle says we all start with ourselves. With every failure a success is created. You can have the life you want by LIVING The Law Of Attraction. Attracting the life you dream about.

Thanks for the article Michelle! Good things are soon to come!!

.

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today today!

Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

Would Tiger have done the adultery he did if he knew he would get caught? Well, if he knew FOR SURE he would get caught AND if he knew FOR SURE the consequences (loss of wife, loss of millions in a divorce settlement, loss of millions in endorsement deals, public ridicule etc.) then there is little doubt Tiger would have been a good boy.

So…

How did Tiger ever imagine he wouldn’t get busted? He’s in the public eye like presidents and rock-stars, he’s a super primo target for blackmailing tabloid hustlers and the simple fact is: WE SHOULD LIVE OUR LIVES LIKE EVERYTHING WE DO WILL EVENTUALLY BE FOUND OUT BECAUSE IT EVENTUALLY WILL BE. The ad line, “What goes on in Vegas, stay’s in Vegas” is simply that, AN ADVERTISING PITCH. Truth is, what goes on in Vegas is video taped by all the casino’s, recorded in a thousand different ways and subject to one friend’s drunken slip of the tongue.

Privacy is an illusion for most of us. Privacy for Tiger Woods is the ultimate oxymoron. It cannot be sustained.

So…

What happened? Simply put, Tiger screwed up. Tiger may be the greatest golfer that ever lived, but his relationships skills are way below average. My best guess is Tiger will wind up paying about a million dollars per tryst. A MILLION DOLLARS PER BOOTY CALL? Not good economic sense. A monumental lapse in judgment.

To repeat, just because Tiger has near perfect judgment on the greens doesn’t mean he knows diddly about relationships or women!  Why do you think men cheat?

If you would like more information about our date coaching programs please feel free to email directly at Denise@MissMatchMaker.net with your questions or visit my Personal Services page.

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

From a man’s point of view…

The question of “what men want” breaks into two parts:  initially and subsequently.  So here goes:

1) Initially men are concerned about rejection.  It’s not easy being a man.  Men are expected to do the “approaching” all or most of the time, often in public in front of potentially mocking third-parties.  Every man remembers approaching a pretty little girl at his first high school dance and being shot down in front of his buddies;  or some such similar painful experience.  Male pride runs deep and strong; whether a man admits to it or not.  So, to get a man, give him a path to you with the least possibility of rejection, ALL THE WHILE NOT COMING ACROSS AS EASY, CHEAP OR A PUSH-OVER.

Once the approach/rejection part is over, a man’s usual next “want” is to know where he stands.  This is tricky.  It’s tricky because often a woman is unsure of what she wants, which means she can’t communicate to a man what’s “going on” because she may be unsure herself, wish to keep her options open or be in an emotional turmoil for other reasons. Here’s a good rule for that situation: FAKE IT! Simply put, as a woman, put together your best guesstimate of where you want the relationship to go, and communicate it simply and briefly.  You can always modify your goals later, but without communicating some direction to a man…you’re much more likely to lose him.

2) Once a relationship has started a man’s wants change drastically.

A) Men crave variety.  They’re hard wired for it.  A man sexually recovers much more quickly for a “different” woman versus the same woman for a second time.  That’s why women change their hair color, hair style and wardrobe so much more than men do.  They intuitively understand a man’s desire for variety.  What’s a girl to do?  Well, how about everything?  Change your hair style, change where you make love (location), change how you make love, change attitude, change anything and everything you can.  If you’re quiet, be a screamer. If you’re a screamer, be a soft-moaner.  If you are talkative, be quiet.  If you are a potty mouth…try soft conservative comments.

B) Be his buddy.  If he’s into carpentry, learn to swing a hammer (not at him!!). If he’s into toy trains, in the name of the Lord, don’t mock him, but learn about toy trains.  If you want to keep him, just do it.  It won’t kill you and if you’re too lazy or disinterested to learn his interests then don’t complain if some other gal does.  Don’t pull him into your interests, go to his.  Don’t be proud, just do it.

C) Men crave encouragement and flattery.  What on earth is the possible benefit of criticizing a man?  How could it possibly ever reward you?  Don’t do it.  Ever!  It is the road to hell.  Find a way to communicate what you want to communicate in a positive way.  Make the problem seem easy to fix.  And, if you must communicate anything that is not praise, then sandwich that comment between two other compliments.  “Baby, your shoes look great…I don’t know about that shirt tonight…it usually looks so good on you…and your haircut is just right.”  Seems like a lot of work.  Well, so is a divorce.

So there you have it ladies!  Blunt and to the point…what do you think?

If you would like more information about our date coaching programs please feel free to email directly at Denise@MissMatchMaker.net with your questions or visit my Personal Services page.  Additionally, we are now offering a specially designed weekend get away for women who are serious about not only finding Mr. Right, but keeping him!  Click here for more information.

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

So what is a matchmaker doing writing about Toys for Tots you ask? Well my job as a matchmaker is to make love happen and what better way to make love happen then to bring a smile to a child’s face. MatchMaker International of Destin, Inc. is proud to announce our office is officially a drop off location for the Foundation.

I spoke with Anita Williams, the local coordinator for Toys for Tots, today and she informed me that there were over 7,500 children registered in the local Gulf Coast area. Anita explained that donations this year have been slow due to the recession which has been felt by everyone.

MatchMaker International will be accepting new and unwrapped gifts Monday – Friday from 9:00am till 9:00pm from now through December 23rd. Our office is located right off Hwy 98 in The Plaza. The physical address is 4507 Furling Lane, Suite 111, Destin, FL.

If you do not live locally and would like to participate please click here to find a location near you.

Please join us in the spirit of Christmas and remember love is always in the air this time of year. Drop off your unwrapped toy and receive a free referral with your membership. Let’s make some love happen Destin!

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

An entirely new model for the industry, eLove is the first “life stage company” within the dating industry to provide different levels of dating services to singles based on how serious they are about meeting their soul mate. Singles have the option to do everything – from browsing the vast online database in search of a date to eliciting the assistance of a professional matchmaker to help them meet their soul mate.

eLove recognizes and understands that there are unique advantages to both online dating and personal matchmaking. Offering both provides members with as much choice and flexibility as possible to meet the demands of their lifestyles and achieve their objective.

The Power of Technology

eLove’s online dating platform empowers individuals with control and choice. A simple and easy way of meeting people, eLove provides the latest tools in video/audio/text chat instant messaging; video profiles, voicemail, email and more. Best of all, it takes just five minutes to join eLove’s online dating and within minutes members can be mingling with other singles in their area.

Finding a Soul Mate

eLove’s matchmaking service has been developed and designed by industry professionals with decades of experience in making happy successful couples. All matchmaking service members are pre-screened and undergo a mandatory criminal background check. Safety is of paramount importance at eLove. The company maintains a high level of integrity, which helps ensure that all members are honest and sincere and the matchmaking experience is a positive one.

A matchmaker reviews each personality profile and then personally meets and gets to know each matchmaking service member. eLove is different from other dating services specifically because matches are not based solely upon demographic data, but a combination of science and the intuition, experience and insight of eLove’s professional matchmakers. No matter how good technology is, quality matchmaking of singles who are looking for a committed relationship, is and always will be a subjective matter.

According to Jill Vandor, Executive Director of Matchmaking at eLove, “Whether you’re looking for your soul mate; getting back into the dating scene later in life or you just want to see who’s out there, eLove is truly unique because it caters to singles who are seeking a serious relationship as well as those looking for casual dating.”

She continued, “As a professional matchmaker, I’ve always felt very fortunate to have the ability to impact people’s lives on a daily basis and in a very profound way. The reality of dating is that one great date can potentially change your life. eLove is the ideal dating solution.”

Kudos to you eLove!

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

Written by:  Kim Norton

Excuses!

OMG I love my job! Every day I come to work and talk to so many people and hear all of their stories and just when I thought I have heard it all…along comes the best excuse ever!

People come up with all kinds of excuses as to why they can’t make the time to come in and talk to us. They are busy with work, they are going out of town, they have family coming in etc. Essentially it all means the same thing: I don’t want to admit that what I have been doing isn’t working.

When you are sick you go to the doctor, when you have a legal issue you hire an attorney, when you have a tax question you call your accountant. Why is it so hard for someone to admit that they may need a little help when it comes to dating?

So back to my excuse story…I was on the phone with what seemed to be one of the smartest men I had talked to in a long time.  He is very successful in his career but has had some bad luck when it comes to picking women. Of course I won’t fill in all of the personal details here…but we get down to the bottom line “we need to schedule a time for you to come in” and here goes…the best excuse ever…his CAT has been feeling a little depressed lately and he really is not comfortable leaving his CAT home alone because he is already gone most of the day with his job and so he has to spend the evenings with his CAT in order to help decrease his CAT’s depression and anxiety!

Seriously people, I’m not that stupid and I know you don’t honestly believe your CAT is too depressed and this is why you can’t come in! If you are nervous about coming in just tell me. If you are hesitant about coming in be honest with me and maybe we can work through it. Please don’t try and sell me that your CAT suffers from depression!

Many people feel a little weird about coming in to talk to us and this is normal, most people have never been to a dating service before and really don’t know what to expect. Most people feel comfortable once they actually arrive and see it is a professional business and they find that the interview process is casual and a lot of fun!

The people we deal with are serious and sincere about meeting someone special. They are busy professionals, like yourself, who don’ t want to waste their time meeting they wrong people. Most of them are smart enough to have made the decision that it is time to do something different, something positive! So when I call you please don’t give me your excuses…I have officially heard them all!

LOL…thanks for listening to my vent!

Regards,

Kim is a Relationship Advisor who has worked in the dating service industry for 8 years now.  Thanks for sharing Kim!

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

The greatest compliment you can give someone is your undivided attention. Let me repeat that…The greatest compliment you can give someone is your undivided attention!

It’s not always about conversation starters and what you say it should be more about how well you listen. When we are little we are told to use our listening ears but as adults no one ever reminds us of this. Limit your own talking and when you do talk, talk to express, not impress. Remember you can’t talk and listen at the same time. Above all, don’t interrupt.

People want someone to listen. They will open up to you on non threatening topics such as work, children or interests. These topics are great conversation starters when you ask open ended questions. This just means phrasing a question in such a way that it cannot be answered with one word like “yes” or “no”. You should be listening for ideas, not just words. You want to get the whole picture, not just bits and pieces.

Being a good listener means you have to “sum it all up.” Simply repeat back to someone what they just said in the short version. It lets them know you heard and understood what they said. Use acknowledgments to let the other person know you are really listening to what they are saying, for example “yes”, “I understand”, “I see”, “I know”, “I agree”. Keep the conversation going with “and”, “hhhmmm”, “then what”, “really”…

As you ask questions, really listen to their answers; both what they say verbally and what they don’t say in their pauses and tone of voice. Watch body language and be sure the person is open to the discussion at hand. A person’s unconscious communication can be very revealing!

Don’t get stuck with why your past relationships didn’t work out or why he was a jerk and she was crazy. If the other person goes there, just politely redirect by asking another question about a different topic. Stay away from complaining. No one likes to deal with a complainer. Keep it light hearted and fun.

Most importantly be confident. There is nothing more sexy then a confident man!

Being single and dating doesn’t have to be difficult.  So what have we learned today? The greatest compliment you can give someone is your undivided attention!

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

Written by: Jennifer Cederquist

In Search Of My Final First Date©

It’s what the majority of singles are seeking — the end of the dating game and the beginning of a lasting relationship.  We explore every avenue that sounds promising, while at the same time we tire of putting forth such effort.  The use of internet dating sites becomes a part time job.  Blind dates turn into interviews.  The whole process of finding a soul mate starts to take on a clinical feel.  Yet, what alternative is there?  Do we simply rely on a chance encounter while we go about our busy lives?  With every passing new years eve, we proclaim that this will be the year it will happen!   But it doesn’t, and yet another year has gone by.  We do need to be proactive in this area, because luck doesn’t always happen when it comes to finding love.

Having worked as a membership counselor and dating consultant for the past 21 years, I have gained much insight into the single person’s psyche.  Yes, there are differences in the way men think as opposed to women, but they both experience similar frustrations that go along with being single.  They both are lonely, have been cheated on by former loves and have insecurities as well as self-doubt.  Neither knows just how to proceed in order to find a fulfilling relationship.

I have come to the conclusion that no matter what avenue is used to date, we need to proceed with confidence.  Even if the ideal person is placed directly in front of us, we won’t be able to pique that person’s interest if we are not behaving in an attractive manner.  Some of us may not have outgoing personalities, so we need to make a concerted effort to smile more.  We need to appear happy, positive and fun-loving! Men and women are always more drawn to those who exude a positive self image.  Negativity kills desire. We need to dress to captivate the opposite sex.   We cannot use the excuse of “I’m comfortable the way I am.” Sure, we may be comfortable, but are we truly happy?  We need to step out of our comfort zones and make moderate changes.  We should never alter our core selves, but we do need to modify certain aspects of ourselves in order to entice interest from another.

My advice to women:  Don’t leave your house looking shabby NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE GOING!  That chance encounter could happen anywhere, including the grocery store, jogging trail or dry cleaners.  Men have told me countless times that they always notice a woman who takes pride in her appearance.

For men:  The same rules apply.  Leave your home looking like you feel great about who you are.  Wearing jeans and a t-shirt is fine as long as your clothes are clean and have a flattering fit.  Women are most attracted to a man’s self confident demeanor.  Feeling good about how you look can lead to that projection of confidence.

The golden rule which applies to both sexes:  Do not ask or expect from another, more than what you have to offer.  In other words, be realistic about who you are and who you are looking to connect with.  If you have a high school education, don’t make it a requirement that your ideal mate have a college degree.  If you have children, be open to dating someone who also has children and if you are overweight, please don’t expect to attract someone in peak physical condition.  These are just a few examples of where I’ve seen many singles go wrong.

Finally, don’t stop trying!  I have worked at several national dating services and they do work for those with realistic expectations.  I met my fiance at one of them and we never would have crossed paths otherwise.  Exposure to single, available men and women is essential.  If you feel worn out on the internet sites, try something different.  The bricks and mortar services are considerably more costly to join than online dating sites, but they tend to attract a more commitment-minded person, not to mention financially stable.  If you have a particular hobby or interest that you are passionate about, investigate singles groups that may be structured around that particular activity.  Stop doing anything that begins to feel like work.  Dating should be fun and interesting!  Meeting new people should be looked at as an adventure, not a duty.

In summary, remember to always project confidence and optimism.  Be realistic in your aspirations, expect a wonderful person to come into your life and put some effort into making that happen.  Make the necessary adjustments in behavior and appearance and before long, you will notice an amazing and positive change in your social life!

About Jennifer:

Jennifer Cederquist is a professional dating consultant as well as a membership counselor with the Michigan branch of The Right One, a national matchmaking service. She has worked in the dating industry for the past 21 years and has helped numerous singles find love. As a consultant, she offers guidance to singles who want to fine tuning their dating skills, in one on one sessions. To visit her web site Click Here or contact Jennifer send her and email to:   jenniferpdc@comcast.net.

Thanks for your article Jenn!  Great advice we all need to keep in mind….

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today to Miss MatchMaker!

Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

The book is called  It’s A Breakup, Not A Breakdown The Workbook: A 21 Day Action Plan To Plot Your Revenge, Spoil Yourself, And Find Out How Good Life Is Without Him.

Great title, isn’t it?

Based on her private coaching practice working with women as they heal their hearts and reinvent their futures, this interactive workbook includes daily exercises and worksheets to help you:

• Find an amazing support system to accelerate your recovery
• Grieve like a widow so you can feel your pain without judging it Let yourself off the hook for letting some guy treat you so poorly
• Incorporate healthy and nurturing behavior into your new daily routine
• Understand why The Big Breakup is more excruciating and more exquisite than any breakup you’ll ever go through
• Identify and release any fears that may be holding you back
• Get clear about why your relationship ended, why it’s for the best, and what you really want in life and love

And so much more!

When you follow Lisa’s customized 21 day recovery action plan, you’ll heal your heart in record time. Plus, you’ll get clearer about what you’ll no longer put up with in life and love, identify your core values, and create a vision of the future that is oh-so-fabulous!

For information on ordering her book just click on the book title above!

When you are ready to move on, don’t be shy!  Simply submit your profile to me and we can take baby steps from there!

Regards,

About Lisa:

Internationally known as The Relationship Journalist™, Lisa Steadman is an author, speaker, and coach dedicated to helping women move away from the pain of the past and into their brilliant futures. A multiple breakup survivor, Lisa stumbled and fell many times along her journey to happily ever after.  Along the way, she learned some valuable lessons, realized the importance of wakin’ up, breakin’ up, and movin’ on, and emerged from her Big Breakup stronger than ever – and determined to help others.  You can find Lisa on Facebook as well as her blog.

p.s.  Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

Wouldn’t it be nice if we all came with warning labels?  “High Maintenance, Fears Commitment, Co-Dependent, Momma’s Boy, Jealous Tendencies etc.” Imagine being on a first date and being able to see that person’s true authentic self.  No games, no hidden agendas’ just the real person.  We could decide right there if we were interested in a second date. Life would be so much easier that way, at least single life that is…

All of the profile options out there on every site are aimed at making us look the best we possibly can online but is that truly the way to go?  Why not just be your authentic self?  We should want to be loved for who we are not who we portray ourselves to be.  Did you know that there are people out there in cyberspace that actually make a living designing online dating profiles for singles?

I remember reading somewhere that in life you learn that love isn’t about finding the perfect person or love, it’s about loving an imperfect person perfectly.  So be yourself and be proud of it! With that being said I would like to be the first to share my authentic self and say to the world “I’m Complicated!” and proud of it!  I believe that we need to know our strengths and weaknesses to remain true to our authentic self.  So here is my warning label, “Perfectly Imperfect”…what’s yours?

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

I was surprised to find that there were only 5 compatible matches for me in a world wide search!  I suppose there is hope for me after all LOL!  However, this wasn’t totally an experiment about matching me.  It was more about how accurately I was analyzed and I have to admit, they hit the nail right on the head!

This is just one of the personality summaries about me and my interactions with other people.  I am best described as “USUALLY TAKING CARE OF OTHER.”

“Here’s one important truth about you:   you have a tender heart.  Yes, you know that others need to learn to take care of themselves.  Yes, you know they need to accept the consequences of their foolish or bad behavior.  And sometimes, even when your instinct is to help them, you will let them fend for themselves and let them suffer the consequences of their choices or circumstances.

But most of the time you are there to help when they need you.  If they are in trouble, you offer compassion and go out of your way to be helpful.  If they need someone who will listen, you are trustworthy and sympathetic.  And you are direct with them;  when they need advice or counsel, you offer it in a straightforward, direct manner, without beating around the bush.

You’re also smart enough to know that you cannot take good care of others if you fail to take good care of yourself, so you listen to your own wants and needs.  If you’ve run out of sympathetic energy, you spend time restoring yourself.  If you’ve ignored your own pain or frustration, you find a friend who will listen well, or go into your own private healing place and give yourself permission to focus on you.

But before long, you’re back at it with your friends, offering a sympathetic ear and compassion on which they learn to trust, also giving straightforward advice and counsel when they ask for it.  You do know how to take care of yourself, but your genuine interest is in taking care of others.”

I suppose this is what makes me good at what I do!

Kudos to you eHarmony for actually figuring me out LOL!  Unfortunately, after reviewing the 5 matches they came up with for me I would most definitely decline on all 5…oh well.  I am sure he is out there somewhere.  Maybe I should hire a matchmaker to find me a match…I’ll definitely pass on the online dating thing!  He should be showing up on his white horse any day now thanks to Mr. Right One LOL…at least I was not rejected by eHarmony!

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

Written by: Heidi Bilonick

How to tell if this is Normal or If He’s Just Not into You

You are trucking along fine. You’ve met a great guy. He’s calling all the time.
You go out and things are marvelous! You tell all your friends about the great new guy you’re dating. You even start to think of him as your boyfriend. Then all of the sudden, he stops calling. Or, he tells you to call him and he is suddenly busy.

Or, a week goes by with no contact and he forwards you one of those stupid joke emails. Or worse? He does none of those things, and when you see him out he says, “Where did you disappear to?”

Almost all men go through what we women have come to know and sometimes
hate as “The Pull Back Phase.” It can be a frustrating time.

But what is it? And how can you stop it? Well, unfortunately it can be a normal stage that all relationships go through. So stopping it? Isn’t necessarily going to be an option.

I suppose the real question is, “Is it a pull back phase or is he just not that into me?”

That can be a tougher scenario to decipher. Most men, when they start getting close to a woman, go through a time period when they just aren’t sure how they feel about you. They ask themselves questions like:

“What else might be out there?”

“Do I really want this girl to be my girlfriend?”

“How does this girl make me feel about myself when I am with her?”

“Do I like her?”

“Am I really that into her?”

Now, suffice it to say men and women are different. We can multi-task. But men tend to kind of go away while they are questioning. And they don’t even realize you are there, left high and dry, wondering and – YES! – waiting.

In the process, we tend to want to do, say, or be the right thing so we can go back to the way things used to be. We call him when he doesn’t call us. We send him an email saying we want to talk about the relationship. Or, in some cases, we play it cool long enough until we get to the point where we get so frustrated, we end up telling him about himself.

Here’s the rub; while you are doing these random acts of kindness to win him back over to your side, you are actually pushing him further away. You see, when he is just wondering how he feels about you (which EVERYONE should ponder at some point) and you are a step away from boiling rabbits, he can quickly form an unfavorable opinion! He might wonder: “What happened to this girl? She used to be so cool and now she is like a stalker!” Not a good impression, eh?

So, what do you do in the dreaded pull back phase? YOU decide how you feel about HIM! Fill up your time with friends and family. Life is too short to wait by the phone!

Ask yourself:

“How do I feel about myself when I am in this relationship?”

“What kind of partner do I think he will make?”

“How am I feeling about him?”

“Do I want to spend more time getting to know him?”

Etc.

All is fair in love and pull back. You absolutely should be asking yourself the same questions he is asking himself. Use the time to really put this relationship in perspective. Down time can be a blessing!

Now let’s answer that other pesky question: Is it a pull back or is he really not into me?

If it sounds like:

“I have let him have his space during the pull back phase

and he came back, but not as strong.”

Or:

“He never came back!”

Both are strong possibilities if it is a phase designed to make some decisions, you have to be ok with what that decision is.

See, we know when a guy isn’t into us. But the problem is we don’t want to believe it. We would rather believe that he is not ready to commit, he has issues, or he is just really busy. We want to believe those things because then? It can’t be us. But the thing is, it isn’t us anyway… it’s us and him, together. What I mean is, two people have to agree to want to be in a relationship. And no amount of willing, wishing or nagging will ever be enough to make it work if it just doesn’t work.

Remember: it’s important to have enough self respect to free yourself up so you can find what you are looking for. Go back to those questions I wanted you to ask yourself earlier and ask them.

Then ask these:

“Why would you want to be with someone who says he’s going to call and doesn’t?”

“Why would you want to be with someone who disappears on you?”

”Why is that okay with you?”

It’s time to make it less about what he thinks about you, and more about what you think about yourself when you are with him. If he makes you feel bad, that’s bad! Make sense?

I also recommend that you take some time after you answer these questions to set some boundaries.

“What are you willing to tolerate?”

“What kind of behavior will you accept?”

“What will it have to feel like for you to decide to move on?”

“What kind of relationship do you really want?”

Wrapping it up, YOU have the power to create the type of relationship you want!

Question is, “How long do you want to wait?”

The following information is about the author of the above article.   This article was found in ezine articles.  Thanks for sharing your great advice Heidi!  You can also find Heidi Bilonick on Facebook.

Heidi Bilonick, Professional Certified Life Coach, believes in you! I definitely do! Because I know the Secret! I know that YOU have the power to change anything and everything in your life from “what if”, “If only” and “Should”, to “I CAN!” “I DID!” and “I AM!” You can do this by allowing me to help you get out of your own way by teaching you how to apply the Laws of Attraction. Do you know the saying when it rains it pours? Do you know that you are the rainmaker and have the personal power to SHINE? YOU DO! Whether it’s relationships, work, weightloss, or any other thing in life that seems to be holding you back, I can help you tap into your power to turn it all around! My role as a coach is to help you get what you want most!Coaching is a co-creative process designed to help you live a more fulfilling life. As your trained professional coach, I will help you define what is important to you and provide the structure, guidance, and support you need to get there. As your coach, I will be your sounding board, truth-teller,and biggest fan! Contact me at hbilonick@aol.com

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today to Miss MatchMaker!

What works for you in your 20’s could be your relationship demise in your 30’s…

Dating in your thirties, I feel is different then dating in your twenties, or your teens. Well of course you say, its uncharted territory, and ever changing with time. We are ever changing with time. We grow, we become more knowledgeable, sometimes more jaded.

In your twenties, we are still bright eyed and bushy tailed, looking for “the one” Un-jaded by life, still optimistic. The world is your oyster. Maybe you wind up with a divorce under your belt, but you’re still able to write it off as you have nothing but time and that was just one mistake. Everyone is entitled to mistakes right? Its part of life! It is how you learn. So you vow to yourself that you will grow and not make the same mistakes again.

Into your thirties, you more then likely have at least one divorce under your belt, maybe more, maybe even children. Vowing along the way to not make the same mistakes again.

I think there is something in us women though to think that it all needs to go with our “time-line”. This is how it has always been in every other relationship you’ve had and that’s how things are supposed to be. (In your mind that is) Anything less is settling.

But if we let our smarter selves do the thinking, isn’t the way you’ve done it every time before been unsuccessful? Why not change it up a bit?

We tend to gear ourselves towards, it shouldn’t be this complicated, love should be easy. Is that our Inner 20 something talking? (the naive person?)

Let’s face it, by our thirties each party has a good amount of baggage that we are bringing to the table. Neither of you are young and naive and thinking the world is your oyster anymore. After all neither of you has gotten it right yet now have you? This breeds doubt, why should this relationship be any different from the rest?

I no longer think there is “the one”. Yes this hurts a little. Thinking that everything that Walt Disney and every chick flick ever made was only feeding me lies. But maybe its not being jaded maybe its being more of a realist.

Isn’t it more naive to think that in your thirties both parties would be able to jump in feet first and not look back? Knowing the circumstances how is that possible? Maybe we all need to grow up.

At the end of the day, you have you’re issues, he has his. And it comes down to whether you are both willing to work on them or not. Either of you could give in to fear, turn tail and run. Taking that chance is scary as hell. But isn’t the option of never trying scarier?

Maybe we should stop looking at relationships and how they “should be”. Does the good outweigh the bad, are you overall happy? Who’s going to jump in and say that’s settling…. I know you’re out there somewhere. Is it really settling, or just being smart?

Guest Author: Shannon Murphy
Original Post on MySpace

Thanks for sharing Shannon!  I love it!

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

I have been getting a ton of inquiries in my email lately from people who read my blog and want to know more about how they can get involved in my dating service and what it is really all about. It certainly isn’t anything like any of the online dating sites out there. In fact, it is very different from online dating. Think of me as an old fashion matchmaker. It actually makes my skin crawl that people buy into the whole letting a computer decide who is right for you theory. We are real people, with real feelings and real emotions that need to be handled with real care and sometimes even a little touch love.

The tab above for MatchMaker International will give you more detailed information about my office in Destin, FL. Or, simply click the tab above to Submit Profile and fill it out completely. Either one of my Relationship Consultants or I personally will call you confidentially and go over the process in detail. If you want that instant gratification (lol) just pick up the phone and call:

My services are not for everyone. In fact, I turn away about 50% of the people who walk through my front door for one reason or another. We have a strict qualifying process which includes a complete criminal background check, verifying marital status, verifying financial stability as well as emotional stability. I don’t like to set people up for failure and I will not enroll anyone that I believe can not be successful in my program.

If you are sincere, serious and ready to meet quality people this could be an opportunity for you to try something new because obviously what you have been doing isn’t working. The best part of what I have done with my membership is combined the traditional dating service business model with the old fashion values of a matchmaker. This means that not only is it about finding that special person but it is holding your hand throughout the entire process in efforts to make you succeed.

If accepted, you will work one on one with my “Dating Coach” Jen who is there for you to help guide you and teach you the skills that you may not even recognize you are lacking. Jen has been personally trained by not only me but the person who started the industry 30 something years ago and she is FABULOUS at her job!

For those of you that do not live on the Gulf Coast there are ways that I can still help you also. Whether it is in the way of advice, counseling even just pointing you in the right direction or matching you with a matchmaker in your area visit the tab above for Personal Services and if you do not find what you are looking for there simply email me directly Denise@MissMatchMaker.net and I will help in any way I can. This is what I do, I am a professional matchmaker and I love what I do so I will help in any way possible.

There is no need to google such things as “personals” “dating” “love” “romance” Christian Dating” etc. I have been in the industry for over 13 years now and if I can’t help you, I can find someone who can. Be careful out there in cyberspace, some things are not as they appear. Feel free to drop me an email, but be patient because I may not respond immediately, but I will respond.

I hope this has answered some of your questions. I have also received a number of emails in which I have been asked to address certain topics on the blog. I can not get to all of them but I will try so keep them coming and if you haven’t already subscribe in the box above so you don’t miss out on any of my responses. Being a business owner and a single mom is a lot of work so I don’t get to post as often as I like but writing for you is a passion I enjoy tremendously and do in my free time. So feel free to “Ask Miss MatchMaker.”

One last thought, there are some interesting articles on the side bar so if you come across something you feel is worth sharing with my readers please let me know and I will contact the author to get permission to post it.

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

Don’t miss another post…If you haven’t already, subscribe now!

Well the answer is you can’t be sure and only YOU can make that decision.   We don’t come with warning labels, expiration dates or guarantees!  We are people and with that comes emotion and risk.  I know that is not what you want to hear but it is the truth.  However, there is a way to gauge whether you will be happy with that person.  I refer to it as the porch swing test.

My best friend is and has been in a relationship for almost a year now.  Her lease is about to expire and she is considering moving in with her boyfriend.  So over lunch the other day, up comes the porch swing test… “30 years from now, when all is said and done and you have lived a full life and you are sitting back on the porch swing can you see yourself sitting there next to him with a smile on your face?”  Here lies the answer to your future…the porch swing test!

An “old friend” emailed me last week asking me to lend an ear because he still hasn’t figured out that one portion of his life that I am the expert in.  I never did respond to his email (insert theatricals here lol) but I will give my opinion here…and I sincerely mean this from the bottom of my heart (insert forbidden name here)!!!  Just find a girl that you can picture your self growing old with and do whatever it takes to get her and keep her!  “30 years from now, when all is said and done and you have lived a full life and you are sitting back on the porch swing can you see yourself sitting there next to her with a smile on your face?”

Unfortunately relationships and dating are not that easy to figure out at times but sometimes things can be broken down into the smallest components and sometimes, just sometimes it makes it easier to come to better decisions this way.  Enjoy the porch swing test…I do apologize for not answering your email directly (insert forbidden name here) but I’ve been busy pouring out sour milk…

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

The old saying, “The Knight In Shining Armor” still exists today like it did in the medieval times. Only difference is that we’re no longer on a horse and wearing our metal. These days it’s more of a male chivalry which we all men should show if we want to attract our woman. Women are always looking for their knight in shining armor all the time. It is in them to want to be rescued. So whenever there is a chance to help a woman in need, never hesitate. Just do it!

We may not be attracted to the woman we help, but you never know if there is another woman around the corner watching your good deeds. What is important is that this has to be real, a habit you gradually develop over time. You really should not do it just to attract a woman. The more you give, the more you get back. Just don’t expect it right away or else you’ll be disappointed.

So in future when ever you see a woman who either, needs help or rescue from a situation, go for it. Rescuing a woman is one of the surest ways to win their heart. Whether it’s from another man or an embarrassing situation, find a way to save the day and very likely you’ve immediately also found a way to her heart.

Woman unconsciously also like to see that you have good relationships with other women around your age because it shows that you are also liked by other women. She’ll find this attractive.

Never approach a woman too directly and stare down at her as she’ll begin to find you too intimidating or even creepy. An indirect approach is best. Try to also stay away from the usual pick-up lines such as the weather, buying her a drink etc.

You are much better off relating to her on some level. Try to find a common interest.

Its best to therefore approach women as a friend or casual acquaintance as this gives you the best chance to get to know her a little bit more and quickly find a common ground of interest. This can then be further developed into a full blown conversation. It also puts pressure off you trying to score on first attempt with expectations of a long lasting romance or a one night stand and then feeling stupid if you didn’t succeed.

Take your time, and continue practicing. This is the only way you’ll gain confidence over time. The more you do it, the more you’ll feel comfortable picking up women.

In the mean time, Good Luck!

OR if you would like to receive a FREE copy of a limited number of the eGuide “Instant Magnetic Attraction” and discover “What Do Women Really Want From Men”, check out http://www.secrets2datingsuccess.com

The following information is about the author of the above article. This information is required to be posted ‘as is’ in order to reproduce the above article. Miss MatchMaker does not endorse any products or services which may or may not be offered within any links included in the information below. This article was found in Article City.

About The Author

Terry Leslie is a successful and world renowned authority figure on creating and maintaining successful relationships. A much sought after global speaker in the areas of intimate relationships, self-improvement and human peak potential training.
For more Secrets to Dating and Relationship success, check out http://www.secrets2datingsuccess.com

Your first kiss will determine if you get an invitation or a handshake.

When it comes to kissing, you have to approach it with the right attitude. It is an experience to be enjoyed in and of itself, not just a stepping-stone to sex. Yes, of course we want it to lead to the bedroom and if done correctly, it probably will, but you need to experience and really enjoy the act of kissing. A woman will feel your kiss with great sensitivity and she will know if it is sincere or not. And if you really kiss with purpose, you’ll enjoy it and thereby also be good at it.

Kissing not only involves the lips, but the whole body and mind, and, if you do it right, the soul. First know how to enjoy kissing before you can expect a woman to enjoy kissing you. Kissing is a process, not an act.

The way to enjoy kissing is to be sensitive to the closeness and touching of lips and tongues. Focus on your lips and hers. Enjoy the sensation. Let your mind wander with what you are feeling. Women are touchy-feely and it’s all about emotions and heady stuff like that and most of us guys don’t really understand and really don’t want to, but we have to deal with it. And, again, if you go with the flow and catch the feeling, so to speak, you might find yourself on a new plane of pleasure. Kissing is a wonderful experience if you let it be. I’m reminded of a time when a kiss created the setting for a night of bliss that illustrates one of those wonderful kissing experiences.

I was visiting my parents at my boyhood home in Italy on the Mediterranean coast some years ago, the time not being of importance. After hooking up with old time friends and hitting the social scene, it was not long before my eyes met those of a fair young lady. We hit it right off after a brief introductory chat and from there the night flowed like wine at an Italian wedding.

As the night turned into the wee hours of the morning, we strolled as lovers would in an old time movie through the city square. As she twirled in front of me, arms outstretched and hair flowing so beautifully, I gently stepped closer. Seeing the impassioned look on my face, she slowly glided around and leaned into my arms. I pulled her close to me, looked into her eyes, and whispered a sweet compliment. She smiled and I kissed her. The kind of kiss that brought out all her passions and erased her inhibitions. It was a night that she will always remember as I do. I remember all my moments with women, even though there have been hundreds of them.

The beginning to a great night with a beautiful woman can end with a handshake if she does not like the way you kiss. If you want her to spread her legs, you first have to know how to spread her lips.

The following information is about the author of the above article. This information is required to be posted ‘as is’ in order to reproduce the above article. Miss MatchMaker does not endorse any products or services which may or may not be offered within any links included in the information below. This article was found in Article City.

About The Author

Rudy Casanova has been called “Best Kisser On The Planet” by many a lucky woman. Having been raised in wealth and privilege, he has spent his life in the pursuit of loving women. Besides having the reputation as a womanizer, Rudy is known among women’s circles as the best lover in the world. He writes about his adventures with women and provides advice on how to deal with them at http://www.NightsInLingerie.com He writes new articles and answers readers’ questions weekly. The website also offers stories and advice about love and relationships and lingerie.

No one knows that for sure, but you. If you are not “soliciting” opinions, then don’t use them to analyze your relationship.

Too much outside advice can do more damage than good. A lot of issues you will have to sort out internally. From there, only discuss your concerns with people you know you can trust. The ones that only want the best for you.

Your jealous, lonely, catty friends are not the friends you want to discuss your relationship with. They will usually offer advice that is totally useless. Just because they don’t seem to like who you are communicating with, doesn’t mean there is anything wrong.

He might be the one if he is willing to tolerate your jealous, lonely, tag-along, catty friends and not complain.

He might be the one that goes shopping with you on the weekend, even though he hates to shop. As a matter of fact, he does all of his shopping online.

He might be the one, if he takes your 4 cats to get spayed and neutered on his day off.

It’s little things like these you family and friends may not know about, or they may choose to ignore.

It’s the things he does that makes you feel needed, special and cared for. It’s the little emails that arrive at the time you need them most…the way his voice can caress your heart…

When you are alone, evaluate your relationship in your mind. Weigh the good…then the bad…compare the two. Then you tell me whether or not he might be the one…

Do you believe you deserve the person of your dreams? If so, get the skills you need to bring your dreams into reality Today!

The following information is about the author of the above article. This information is required to be posted ‘as is’ in order to reproduce the above article. Miss MatchMaker does not endorse any products or services which may or may not be offered within any links included in the information below. This article was found in Article City.

About The Author

Hi, I’m Vivian Johnson. I have been involved with internet dating since it’s inception. I think it is great! It is the only place in the world where you can find millions of eligible singles…all in one place! There are only a couple of things you need to know…
Let’s start here: Free For A Limited Time Only! ($27.00 value)
Get your Free Internet Dating Course

http://www.realinternetdating411.com/FreeDatingCourse.html

Now why would someone have to tell us that? We knew a long time ago, that he wasn’t the one for us, but decided to deal with it. Hoping that he will either: 1. change, 2. someone better would come along or 3. some misguided person would come along and take them from us! All of those reasons are poor…

As soon as you are sure he is not the one for you, it is time to call it quits! Even though we are usually too embarrassed to admit we knew it a long time ago!

You knew he wasn’t the one when…
He wrecked your car and left the scene of the accident because he didn’t have a drivers license. Not even a permit!

You knew he wasn’t the one when….
He tried to borrow money from your Ex!

You knew he wasn’t the one when…
You found out he couldn’t be on unemployment, because he was never, ever employed!

You knew he wasn’t the one when…
He threatened your children behind your back, and then lied about it.

You see, you’ve had signs all along, but you refused to acknowledge them. Staying with someone that “isn’t” the one isn’t fair to either of you. You need to move on…and he needs to get help.

A lot of singles hang on to who they currently have, while looking for someone else. That will usually backfire.

Make a clean break, and honestly start over with a totally clean slate. That is the only fair thing to do.

So, when someone you trusts tells you ‘Girl He Is Not The One For You!”, don’t get so defensive! Take a step back and evaluate the situation…then be totally honest with yourself! If you can honestly admit that he really isn’t the one? Cut your losses…and move on! You have millions of choices…there are no excuses!

Do you believe you deserve the person of your dreams? If so, get the skills you need to bring your dreams into reality Today!

The following information is about the author of the above article. This information is required to be posted ‘as is’ in order to reproduce the above article. Miss MatchMaker does not endorse any products or services which may or may not be offered within any links included in the information below. This article was found in Article City.

About The Author

Hi, I’m Vivian Johnson. I have been involved with internet dating since it’s inception. I think it is great! It is the only place in the world where you can find millions of eligible singles…all in one place! There are only a couple of things you need to know…
Let’s start here: Free For A Limited Time Only! ($27.00 value)
Get your Free Internet Dating Course

http://www.realinternetdating411.com/FreeDatingCourse.html

Written by: Simon Heong

The first step to becoming successful with women is this:

Learn to have basic conversational skills.

You MUST be able to talk to anyone at anytime — anywhere.

As simple as it may sound, this should be the first step you MUST simply master.

And WHY must you do this?

Well, think about it — if you’re able to literally talk to anyone AS and WHEN you like, don’t you think you’ll subconsciously be improving your social conversational skills with people in general?

The idea for you to do so is so that you become more COMFORTABLE talking to people.

That’s it.

Forget whether it’s with a guy or a girl for the moment.

Just make ‘talking to people’ second nature for you.

If you’re shy with the girls, then a good place to start is with the guys – especially the guys who are already great with the ladies.

Use them as practice.

Seriously.

Think about it, common sense tells you if you can’t even feel comfortable talking to guys, what makes you think you’ll be better off with the girls?

You can learn A LOT from these so-called ‘players’ as well.

Remember, the fastest way for you to become great with women is to MODEL after those who are ALREADY achieving the success that you want with women at the moment.

I have explained this technique in great detail inside my book at: http://www.InstantDatingSuccess.com/

You see, once you’re comfortable talking with the guys, then you can start moving forward and try talking to girls instead.

Remember: make GRADUAL improvements — on a daily basis.

Think about it: If you can gradually improve your conversational skills by a mere 1% each day CONSISTENTLY, by the very end of the month, your conversational skills would have improved by a whopping 30%!

NEVER underestimate the power of gradual improvement!

The next key step here is for you to go out and TAKE ACTION.

Can you imagine how much more fun your life would be if you’ll be able to just walk up and talk to any girl that you like?

With this skill in hand, you’ll be able to mess around with any girl you choose, anywhere you like!

It could be just be the sales girl from your local shopping mall, to the waitress who serves you coffee, to even the girl sitting next to you in the bus stop!

Here’s something you should also know when it comes to talking to women.

Most guys tend to try TOO HARD when they’re talking to a woman — a beautiful one especially.

They’ll tend to be way too accommodating, friendly & ‘complimentary’ to the her which is exactly the OPPOSITE way that most ‘alpha males’ should be doing.

This is also EXACTLY the way that 90% of guys would be when they’re talking to a woman which is wrong, wrong, WRONG!

What you SHOULD be doing in fact, is to NOT project the vibe that you’re trying TOO HARD to gain their attention.

Remember: Be DIFFERENT.

For examples on how to be indifferent, it’s all discussed in great detail in my “28 SureFire Ways To Instant Dating

Success!” book at http://www.InstantDatingSuccess.com/ as well.

You see, most guys, especially the shy ones, they tend to be too afraid in trying something funny or something cool especially if its with a beautiful woman.

My question for you is this?

What’s the worst that could happen to you if you did?

But before we go into that, let me tell you this, and this really is a FACT. More often than not, the worst things that you would normally think off, will most likely NOT happen at all!

It’s just your mind playing silly ‘ol tricks on ya, that’s it.

Now, worst case scenario is even if you DID fall flat on your face trying, at least you did something DIFFERENT, unlike the 99 other losers that said the same lame, over-accommodating lines that she’s so accustomed to all along.

You see, if you really want to be great with women, you must be a super ‘ALPHA’ bloke — a guy who’s NOT afraid to speak his mind AND do the right thing in any given situation and be the leader of the pack.

Not be all wimpy and accommodating and stuff…

Get it?

Think about it — then go out and DO it.

You’ll SEE the difference right away.

And you can thank me later, ok?

The following information is about the author of the above article. This information is required to be posted ‘as is’ in order to reproduce the above article. Miss MatchMaker does not endorse any products or services which may or may not be offered within any links included in the information below. This article was found in Article City.

About the Author

Simon Heong is the publisher of the Dating & Seduction Online Best Seller, the “28 SureFire Ways To Instant Dating Success!” Handbook — The Net’s FIRST ever compilation guide revealing the most intimate secrets on female attraction techniques and strategies. To subscribe to his free newsletter, just sign up here at: http://www.InstantDatingSuccess.com/

How is it that so many people will do all kinds of things based on their emotions?

How is it that people will do stupid, illogical, or miraculous things? Because of emotion.

Emotion influences behavior more than anything else. As in ‘The Secret’, you can have the logic but it’s often not enough to spur things on.

“You have to FEEL it.” Emotion truly is a blessing and so many adults including myself have forgot the amazing power of it.

If we could harness emotion and use it to our advantage with some form of control of it’s contextual use, we can accomplish a lot more.

Emotion in it’s purest form is overwhelming and inspirational.

There are different forms of emotion. Jealousy, lust, love, romance, envy, hate, rage, joy, happiness, pride, sorrow, pain, bittersweet loss, etc.

what’s interesting to me is that emotion is close to natural alpha character. And most happy emotions are evident in women who are not as socially conditioned.

The further someone ‘develops’ logically or socially, the further they will generally get away from their natural character and ability to feel emotion.

People will say that men aren’t emotional. No, we actually are.

But we do show emotion in different ways, but otherwise we often go through the exact same emotions as women.

So how do you create more emotion or experience it? I’d say not to get involved in co-dependencies or open yourself up to being ‘used’, but rather get in touch with your natural character.

Experience the natural character of the opposite sex.

Can you create emotion? Yes, or rather more accurately, you can harness it. Producer’s do it all the time, usually to add value. Marketer’s have gotten really good at it, usually to influence behavior of a buying decision.

Why not take control over the use of it and start bringing the truth of it back into your life? That’s what I’m doing now.

I haven’t felt lonely in probably 15 years because I built up walls to protect myself from other systems and people (especially in the Army where I had to).

Now, I’m finally opening up again to feel things. I wondered how anyone could ‘be happy’. Thinking positive just didn’t do it for me. I couldn’t fathom how people could whistle and sing because it was sunny out. Now I’m starting to realize why.

It’s because of emotion. It’s because of their connection to nature and their natural (biological) character.

Other than negative emotions and their behavioral byproducts, there is a bad side of emotion. When emotion is used or exploited in the wrong types of relationships.

Emotion is also closer correlated to co-dependency than independence.

This is why millions of men and women will continue to stay in relationships that are otherwise completely unbeneficial to them.

One of my friends is stuck on an X-girlfriend for the emotional ‘kick’ he gets out of it despite her erratic behavior. Yet it’s still an emotional co-dependency of all kinds of unhealthy drama.

However, there are a few people who can experience it all. Think of Tony Robbins and you might get an idea. And don’t think you have to be a millionaire to be ‘happy’.

Actually, it’s often the poorest people in the world that are really the happiest. Emotion is value. Go to a village in South Africa and you’re entire reality could shift. You’ve been valuing the wrong things your whole life when perhaps you looked down upon ‘poor’ people.

They have the most natural character as well as the purest emotion.

Men who have independence and only operate interdependently with other people can now have all the benefits of emotion WHILE maintaining relational authority and control without co-dependencies.

This is a tremendous amount of power yet with control as well.

We have enough logic not to do something stupid yet we can bask in the pure natural flow of emotion itself.

The following information is about the author of the above article. This information is required to be posted ‘as is’ in order to reproduce the above article. Miss MatchMaker does not endorse any products or services which may or may not be offered within any links included in the information below. This article was found in Article City.

About The Author

Rion Williams is one of the foremost experts in dating advice, personal power, body language and social dynamics.
Learn how to be an alpha male who is comfortable in his own skin and succeeds with women and dating @ http://www.abovethegame.net Also, you can get instant access to see the ’secret of women’ for yourself @ http://www.secretofwomen.com/resources.htm

The activity you choose when you meet someone for the first time should be something you are comfortable doing. It also needs to allow conversation for you to determine if you will get together for a second date. A few top choices of dating tips are discussed here.

You can have fun and be safe at the same time while dating. The first and foremost of the dating tips is to dress modestly. Your thought, speech, action, and appearance should set a good example. It is always safe to avoid dark places, parked cars or empty homes, and all other environments that might invite to trouble. Discuss the dating activities with your parents. Stay away from activities that will be a cause of embarrassment in future. Keep yourself physically and morally virtuous and worthy to enter the holy place without guilt. It is better to go on group or double dates.

The first date is a nightmare in every person’s life. They bring together the pressure of job interviews with the superficiality of plastic flowers. You’re keen to make a good impression and at the same time skeptical about each move of your date. The level of expectation is high and the hopes and fears the guys undergo , it’s no surprise that relationships break at the drop a hat these days.

One of the important dating tips is to be you. Do not pretend to be someone you’re not. The truth will always out eventually: Sooner is truly better than later. But it is equally important to put in your best foot forward. There is no need to be weighed down about your vulnerabilities and insecurities, or to share your past. Rather narrate the anecdotes that bring out your sweet and sparkling personality.

Remember this is a twofold strategy. Every guy likes to shine in the eyes of his date by rushing in his tried and true tales. Try to be a good listener. It will give you an idea as to what his interests are. If he talks about how his ex girlfriends ditched him, imagine their side of the story. If he is wary of marriage or commitment, that’s valuable information to have early on as well. Do not talk him out on his likes and dislikes. It is a good piece of information to know if he is really serious about this relationship.

Never act as if this date is a life and death situation. Try to have fun. Your life does not hang in the balance. It’s just a date. All you’re really doing is hanging out for a few hours with a new acquaintance. Lighten up the situation and the rest will be easy to handle. Do not make an impulsive decision about your feelings toward him. Unless he’s a bore or nut, give the relationship a second try before dumping him off. Never rush into any conclusion for which you will have to regret the rest of your life. The guy could be someone who might have been the love of your life.

Don’t leave anything to assumption. If you’d like to date the person again, say it in a way the other person understands. But never act desperate to arrange a second date at the very place. Nevertheless don’t dilute the message of the date either. The most important of the dating tips of all is to date safe. Never take risks with your safety. Even if you the person who introduced you to this guy is very well known to you, you are not bound to invite a near stranger in for some entertainment. Moreover, not rushing into intimacy gives you something to look forward to on future dates.

The following information is about the author of the above article. This information is required to be posted ‘as is’ in order to reproduce the above article. Miss MatchMaker does not endorse any products or services which may or may not be offered within any links included in the information below. This article was found in Article City.

About The Author

Mary Rose has authored several books including books related to dating ,love and marriage .For more information logon http://www.casanads.com/bm/dl.htm

It is important to be really systematic for turning friendship into romance. Friendship and romance are inseparable in many cases, but it is not universally true for all. Many people are enjoying their romantic life that they started with friendship a long back. On the other hand, the diametrically opposite situation may happen to your life also…you can lose your intimate friend in the mire of romance. It is the mystery of psychology that propels human beings to behave like this. But, we should always follow what our mind directs us to do. If you feel to make a romantic relationship with your friend, do not hesitate to march forward until you get him/her.

Just think of the situation – you have a friend, who understands you well, who knows you and would stand beside you in all situations; he/she is certainly the perfect match for your romantic life. The most important thing is that your have to be pragmatic enough to make her/him understand the situation, otherwise everything will be lost in the wave of time.

Romancing close friends can be risky – they may take the relationship as granted at the beginning…and you may have to face a false situation. If you are honest about your aims and objectives, do not hesitate! You know her well right from her earlier days and vice versa…and it is assumed that the relationship that exists between you can never be altered even if the sky comes down to the earth. A true friend can bring success, happiness and all the treasures in life. Honesty will pay for you and if you are honest to bring your relationship to romance, none has the power to stop that.

Most of the people assume lot of things at the beginning of any friendship. They start daydreaming and finish as a loser. It should be kept in mind that mere assuming would not pay you until you have an utmost desire to fulfill your demand. If you are too crazy to make a romantic relationship with your close friend…take time and wait for the perfect time to tell her. You would have to change certain things of you. Your lip service can play a big role to canalize your friendship to romance. Tell expressively and persuasively that you love her from your heart. If she does not want to change the equation of the relationship immediately, do not be worried; keep on persuading her and you would get the result in no time. In such cases faith and honesty work a lot.

It is necessary to bring certain changes within you; otherwise it would be too tough for you to transfer your relationship from friendship to romance. First of all, get a different look – always dress elegantly and spray perfume frequently, so that she can observe some changes in you. Be realistic and create an opportunity for her to come closure to you. Suppose, both of you are in a stroll, what you need to do is that place your palm near her waist and smoothly start rubbing until she gets aroused sexually. Wait for the perfect time – hold her hand and kiss. If she agrees with your gesture, carry on kissing in different places including lip, breast and more. Try to be direct with her and make no hesitation in asking for dating. Say, whatever you have at the earliest, because nobody knows what may happen in the days to come. Still, you need to be practical enough to judge the perfect time and place and of course, of the mental state of your beloved. Be true to your heart and do not fear from rejection. Keep a positive outlook and you can earn your desired soul by applying the tried and tested law.

Once she shows any positive sign of continuing romance, try to make it doubly sure by giving her romantic gifts and sumptuous treats at renowned restaurants. Whenever you get spare time, go to your nearby park or at the riverside. Speak in romantic tone and pick out some happy memories of the past. It will simply create magic for you. Make scope for her to vent out her emotional stories of her life. Sit closer to her and continue rubbing her body, so that she can feel good. Look for the opportunity to stimulate her physically as well as emotionally… if you can do so, you are rest assured of winning half the battle. She is not expected to tell about this incident to anyone; it is because of two separate reasons. Firstly, she would not like to create any gossip amongst her friends and secondly, she would not like to debar her from getting sexual pleasure.

So, be free from hesitation and enjoy the ultimate friendship through making love. Always remember the proverb – “Marriages are made in heaven” and if it is true, you do not need to bother about the consequences. Go and tell your friend!!! She would definitely reciprocate your feelings. It is quite possible that she is also making her mind for you…

The following information is about the author of the above article. This information is required to be posted ‘as is’ in order to reproduce the above article. Miss MatchMaker does not endorse any products or services which may or may not be offered within any links included in the information below. This article was found in Article City.

About The Author

Jason Rase provides online dating and webcam chat rooms for meeting potential partners. Please Visit Us-

http://www.aussiematchmaker.com.au/

http://www.datingguide.com.au/

There are things that women want men to know but do not tell them. This is going to mean the difference between a good relationship and a bad one. If men could only know about these things that are big no-no’s and knew what women wanted, they would be able to have happier relationships with the woman in their life.

1) Giving Respect is as Important as Getting It

One thing is respect. Women want to have respect. When it comes to respecting women, some men are not so good at it. This may end up resulting in them losing out in the relationship. It is important to show respect to a woman that you are involved with or any woman for that matter. Give them an opportunity to see that you can be a good guy and that you can respect what they believe and let them have their own feelings about things.

Respect is going to be shown through actions. You can do nice things for a woman like opening up the door, giving up your seat or talking to her differently with passion and concern. It is not acceptable to just fake some charm on a first date. You need to be real and up front about how you are going to be in the relationship on a day-to-day basis.

2) Being Kind to the World

Being kind is another secret that most men do not know that women want. Women want their man to be kind to everyone. They want them to nice to everyone that they meet to some degree.

Treating others nicely will mean that they are kind and are going to give the same type of treatment that they deserve and expect from everyone else. Kindness can go a long way to a women’s heart and it should be something that men think about.

3) Having Accountability for Actions

Women want men to have accountability. They wan to make sure that men are going to take the responsibility for the things that they have done. This can mean anything from the smallest problem to bigger life changing events that happen in their life. Women want to make sure that they are with a man that is going to be a stand-up guy and do what they are supposed to do.

4) Loving Family

One no no that women hate is a man that does not love her family. Women want to have a man that is going to love their family and take on the pressures of family life in a good way.

This means their parents, brothers, sisters and children all the same. They need to know that they can rely on their husbands or boyfriends to do what is needed of them. Most women need someone that they can trust and whom they know is going to be there for them when they are most in need.

5) Being Safe and Secure

Women want to also feel safe with their men. They want to know that they have nothing to worry about and that they are in good hands when they are with them. Having the feeling of security is going to mean all the difference when a woman is with their man. They want to be secure not only with their man but they also want to know that their man is going to be there to protect them when they need it the most.

Women need to make sure that their man is taking their relationship seriously. They want to know that their man is going to be there for them no matter what and they want to make sure that they are for real in the partnership.

Try not to joke around all the time and laugh about things in the relationship as this is going to insult some women and make them feel low. Women want their men to be committed and serious about what is going on in the relationship just as they do.

The following information is about the author of the above article. This information is required to be posted ‘as is’ in order to reproduce the above article. Miss MatchMaker does not endorse any products or services which may or may not be offered within any links included in the information below.  This article was found in Article City.

About the Author
Cucan Pemo
Don’t let your love Rivals ace you out of this chance to get your lover back! My resources has caused multiple “a-HA!” realizations for my readers! Sign up for your FREE step-by-step video tutorial today at http://www.RetrieveaLover.com if you want to save your marriage or relationship (Value $67!). Also, sign up for your FREE love tips at http://www.500SecretsAboutGirls.com if you desire to know what Women want!

Women always say, “I didn’t know he was like that” when their boyfriends perform acts that cause everyone around them shame. In some cases they really weren’t aware of the boyfriend’s mischievous deeds, but in other cases women knew well in advance they just hoped he would stop.

Most women are not stupid, gullible, dumb, or any other name critics choose to call them for the selections in men they make. For some, they truly had no idea their boyfriend meant bad news for them. The ever-popular question of, “Why did she get herself involved with him anyway?” continues to loom over their heads and the reasons vary depending on whom you ask. Some women may have found out about their problem boyfriend and stayed because of love, status, money and/or power. Others may have stayed because they didn’t want to carry the guilt of leaving their children’s father over issues they feel could be resolved. Still many women feel they can change him. As long as women continue to believe that the power of sex, money, counseling, personal sacrifice or a host of other strategies to change a bad man will work, they will continue to subject themselves to mental and physical abuse. These strategies simply will never work for some men. There comes a time when women will have to get off their knees whether she is praying to God or pleading to her mate to change. She will have to stand up carrying her self-respect in hand and walk right through the door of “end the relationship now.”

The following advice is written for women who haven’t yet made a commitment or a baby with a “bad boy.” She may be struggling with whether she is ready to settle down with him, distance herself from him or keep him as a friend. Although the best advice is not to offer to carry him or his burdens and just leave him alone, there will be those women who will still stay. If those women choose to stay, they have committed themselves to a hard life of many restless nights, aches and pains at times mentally and/or physically and they most likely will past negative behaviors to their future children and their children.

The Liar – In the beginning of the relationship, you caught him in a few white lies. He had what seemed like convincing excuses; therefore you let him get away with them. Now the lying has increased and the excuses have become minimal if not at all. Actions you may want to consider are the following: Approach him not only with what you think, but what you know; in other words have proof. Stop taking his lying lightly. Let him know that this behavior you will not accept any longer. If he chooses to continue lying, then tell him you will have to end the relationship for good. Once you have made a decision that you are leaving, begin to make efforts to not be contacted by him (change your cell phone number, block his email address, put places you hang out frequently on hold, and avoid telling mutual friends about your personal whereabouts, thoughts and feelings. You must not leave and then go back to him, he will only get better about lying to you over time.

The Player also known as The Pimp – This man is obsessed with being contacted or making contact with the opposite sex. He will use cell phone, email, your house phone or friends to make contact with whomever he meets. He will leave a trail of evidence whether it is the popular piece of paper that slips out of his pocket with a phone number without a name, restaurant receipts, hotel charges, cologne or jewelry gifts, read and sent email that sits in his account that he forgot to delete. He begins to create a pattern in his actions when you have become old and someone else becomes new. Look out for this repetitious pattern. He may develop his pattern after work on a daily basis working later and later nights at the office then when he comes home he is providing almost too much detail about what happened at work or not at all. Another pattern he may create may be choosing a hobby or interest that is very unusual to his personality and attending this faithfully, what you can do to find out if he is sincere is offer to pick him up from the pottery class on some nights. Watch his reaction. There may also be the weekend pattern of always “needing to get away, have some time to myself, or I’m so busy with errands.” All the while making little or no time for the two of you to go out and be seen together. When you suggest new places to visit, he finds an excuse to take you to the same area you both are familiar to keep from running into the other woman or women. He finds a way, anyway, to travel to places without you regularly using an excuse such as “I’m going to my mother’s house or hanging out with Rick, Joe or someone you never heard of Frank.” Be careful family and friends will cover for him. He will call you, at times when he knows you are out and about to see if you will be in the proximity where he will be entertaining the other woman or women. He is protective of his cell phone and his computer; if you tried to check either it maybe password protected. You may want to consider whether having to worry over your man’s whereabouts is worth all of this aggravation. In time, you will become insecure, angry for no apparent reason, and develop a since of distrust toward everyone you meet. This is baggage you don’t need.

The Thief – He has been around when things go missing. At first you didn’t suspect him and thought items had just been misplaced or he blamed someone else for taking them. Yet, you have always had a funny feeling in your gut that he was the one who made off with your dad’s tools, took your favorite CD, helped himself to some cash sitting around, and other important items. It is time to come up with a plan, set him up. The kind of plan you come up with can’t be easily figured out by him and if you sincerely want your restless conscience to be at peace, then go to great lengths to figure out whether he is trustworthy. Time is money and the longer you stay with him, the more items will go missing.

The Hustler – He is always thinking of a way to separate people from their money illegally. From identity theft to standing on the street corner selling drugs, he always has a knot of money and doesn’t mind living lavishly. Now you may think that what he has told you about his daytime job is paying the bills, but the truth of the matter that job didn’t pay for the designer clothing and expensive jewelry you wear; instead it was the second one you may or may not know about. This man is dangerous. He has enemies and one day some one will catch up with him, you or anyone who associates with either of you, and the sight won’t be pretty. You must ask yourself this question, is he worth putting your life and everyone else’s lives around you in danger?

The Abuser/Controller – You can never do anything right. He is often critical, walks around with an attitude and every opportunity he has alone he wants you to stop living your world to be with him. In the beginning of the relationship, you justified his negative personality with excuse after excuse. Whether he is physically ill, illiterate, disabled or mentally disturbed and on medication, you have a right to explain how you feel about him to him. You may have done this already and got knocked to the ground whether verbally or physically. You may have told yourself that things will get better and he is making an effort to change. Well that is good if he is sincere about becoming a better man; however, he can make those strides without you living with him and subjecting yourself to his name calling, mood swings, choking, punching, and grabbing. There are no rewards in heaven given to women who allow themselves to be abused by men. There was only one Christ in the Holy Bible and you are not He. (Read more about the abuser in an article I wrote entitled, “How To Know Your Boyfriend Is Abusive” at this site.)

The Mooch – You have invited him once again on an outing and he never has any money in his wallet. During inopportune times, he says he needs to stop at the ATM and you know there is none even close to where the two of you are located. When he offers to take you out, he usually picks a place that he doesn’t have to pay much (despite the fact that when it was on your tab he ordered steak and another time lobster!) He drives your car and doesn’t fill it up, when you mention it; he finally puts some gas in the tank — a measly $5 or $10. Holidays come and go with very little if any acknowledgment from him. Yet, you bought him (and possibly his relatives) really nice gifts whether it was a holiday or not. He displays affection, says all the right things, and listens to your concerns only when he knows he needs something from you. If you choose to continue a relationship with this man you have options and they are as follows. You could stop being so generous and treat him how he treats you. For example, when you invite him out, treat him to the kind of places he takes you. Put a limit on how often he drives your car. Avoid helping him when he is in a bind since you know he won’t help you. Make yourself unavailable to run errands for him and anyone associated with him (that includes his children by a previous relationship, his mother, sister or brother.) If he begins to see you are no fool, he won’t continue to run over you and will grow to appreciate you. However, if he doesn’t you will be making it easy for him to walk away from you without you having to break up with him.

The Drunk/ Drug Abuser – How many times have you seen him intoxicated or using drugs? Is he fun, angry, disgusting or depressed afterward? Are most of the relationship problems you have been facing associated with this type of behavior? If so, then you will have to consider whether or not you will help him get counseling from a distance, continue to live with him and endure the abuse, leave him alone altogether or create an intervention for him that includes a professional counselor, family and friends who have all been affected by his negative ways. If he consistently refuses help, then for your own sanity and safety, leave him alone.

The following information is about the author of the above article. This information is required to be posted ‘as is’ in order to reproduce the above article. Miss MatchMaker does not endorse any products or services which may or may not be offered within any links included in the information below.  This article was found in Article City.

About The Author
Nicholl McGuire is a Published Poet, Freelance Writer and Author. Her book Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate speaks to women who haven’t reached a decision to leave an abusive situation, visit http://stores.lulu.com/nichollmcguire for more info.

Have you ever noticed that it is easier to attract a potential partner if you already have one? Have you noticed that if you are not really looking for a relationship a lot more people show an interest, but if you get desperate they run a mile!

At least that has happened to me sometimes and from asking around it seems to be quite common. Rather than just putting this down to some bizarre quirk of human nature lets look at the cause of this behavior and see if we can make it work for us.

One of the keys to finding a mate is to not particularly need one, or at least not need one ‘too much’. I find that if I need a partner too much that can drive them away. However, what do I do if I really feel desperate?

Another quirk of human nature is that our nervous system has a hard time telling the difference between an imagined experience and a real one. You only have to watch an exciting or scary movie to see how easily we can fool ourselves. This is the key to never being desperate about finding a partner. If we want to find a partner, then the best thing to do is imagine we have one already!

If we imagine we have the perfect partner and get into feeling how it would be to have that right now, this calms down our whole nervous system. It gives us a feeling of being fulfilled and takes away feelings of desperation. Especially if we really get into details; what you will do together, where you will go, what will you say, what will they say, and so on.

Please bear in mind that I am not talking about ‘yearning’ for someone. Sitting around yearning for someone is very different from imagining you already have them. Yearning is a feeling of ‘not having’, which primes us to feel desperate. We need to discourage ourselves from cultivating feelings of ‘not having’ and encourage ourselves to cultivate feelings of ‘having’. You can easily tell the difference as the feeling of ‘having’ is a much better feeling!

You may say that this is just a trick of the mind. Well, the feelings that come as part of the package of ‘lonely yearning’ are tricks of the mind too. Feelings of failure, or feeling that we will never find anyone, are all part of the imagination – they are negative imaginings. That is using our mind and our imagination against ourselves and training ourselves to fail.

If this all sounds strange to you, remember what top athletes do if they want to improve their abilities. They imagine themselves achieving a better time in the race, lifting heavier weights, having more stamina, and the like. They imagine how they will feel to achieve their goals. Athletes don’t mess around with techniques that don’t work, especially when a few hundredths of a second difference means winning or losing. Successful business people do this sort of thing too. They imagine success and then move ahead from there.

By imagining we already have the perfect partner, and how it will feel, we train our subconscious mind to start making that happen. And, because we are more likely to be mellow about it, we are much more likely to make the most of it when the next opportunity comes along. If you are going to try this, and you are willing to spend a few minutes on it every day, get yourself a nice big stick ready… you might need it to keep all the interest potential partners at bay…

The following information is about the author of the above article. This information is required to be posted ‘as is’ in order to reproduce the above article. Miss MatchMaker does not endorse any products or services which may or may not be offered within any links included in the information below.  This article was originally found in Article City.

About The Author
William Martin offers a new slant on dating and relationships. He offers unique and wholistic tips and advice to finding – and keeping – the man or woman of your dreams. Check out http://www.meetyourgreens.com his free dating site, or this ebooks site http://www.fingerclickingood.com/ebooks/love_romance_culture_ebooks.html for ebooks on matchmaking, love and romance.

Is there any such thing as a soul mate? Yes, there are soul mates for everyone in the world. You will find that you may find your soul mate in the least likely place or in the least likely person, but you will find someone who can love you and care for you when you need them. A soul mate is a person who you love and loves you back for no reason at all. A soul mate is deeper than lust.

You don’t lust for the person, though you may every now and then, but you are just as happy sitting with them watching TV as you are in the bedroom. You will find that your soul mate is like no other boyfriend. When you find a soul mate, you will feel something that you have never felt before.

Is there more than one soul mate out there? When it comes to answering your feelings, you will find that most people are 50/50 on this one. You may find that you love more than one man deeply in your life. There are more than a billion people in the world and your chances of having more than one soul mate is possible, however, most people believe in the one and only.

The one and only soul mate that you will ever have, but you will find that there are going to be many men in your life that make you feel so much. A soul mate is deeper than lust; it’s deeper than love. When you find a soul mate, you just know that they are going to be different.

1) To find your soul mate you have to be open to the world. There are messages and signs all around us; you just have to know how to read them. There are signs all around you that will lead you to your soul mate. When you begin to find the signs, you will find your soul mate. The universe is constantly moving you towards your own utopia. It is trying to move you towards your soul mate, your destiny, and your happiness.

2) You will know when you meet your soul mate; you will feel something that you have never felt. It’s like having love at first sight, but it feels deeper. You feel so much, in your heart, for a person before you even get to know a person. You will just know when you have met your soul mate.

Everything that you need to know lies in their eyes. If you can look into their eyes and see yourself, you have just met the man that will forever affect your life.

A soul mate may not last forever, however, it will last long enough for you to get what you need out of them. They may be there to comfort you and to care for you when others desert you. They may be there to encourage you to reach for your dreams. They promise to give you the world and then the follow through with their words. They are they for you when you truly need them.

A soul mate simply means that you never have to say I love you, because they, as well as you, already know. It’s never having to say you’re sorry, because you know they are. It is knowing what they feel without having to say a word.

1) To attract your soul mate you have to open your heart to the world. You have to take the time to sit in a park and watch the world pass you by. When you do this, you are able to feel all that the world feels.

2) Notice the signs. When you walk to work, look up to the buildings, look at everything around you. Don’t walk with your head looking straight ahead, you are blocking out the universe. Take in the world by acknowledging the world.

3) Be open to everything, you may meet your soul mate online or on a subway or on a blind date. You never know where you may meet them, so be open to every experience.

Be kind to others. Today, it is sometimes not safe to extend and open hand to others, but you can smile to everyone who passes you by on the street. You may want to pull out a dollar for the local charity or homeless person that you meet. You can be kind to the universe, by being kind to those who pass you by.

4) Do something for someone who you don’t even know. This will not only make you feel good, but it will also make someone else become open to the world. Open the phone book and pick a random name. Send them a dollar in the mail. It will make you and the other person happy and appreciative to the world.

5) Be patient. You don’t want to rush fate, or you’ll get cheated. You don’t want to rush into a relationship to be in a relationship, you need to wait and find someone who is your soul mate. It may happen at 15, 25, or maybe even 45. No one knows when you’ll meet your one, however, if you open yourself up to the world, then you will be able to find the love of your life much quicker.

6) Listen to your heart. You may find yourself in a relationship, but you aren’t truly feeling them. You will want to follow your heart. Your heart is an internal guide that will allow you to find the path to your soul mate.

7) Give everyone a chance. You may know someone and not even realize that they are your soul mate. The most unusual places; the ones that you would never think about will actually be your soul mate. Go against your normal status of acceptable dates and take a chance. It may turn into something much more than just conversation; they may be your soul mate.

The following information is about the author of the above article. This information is required to be posted ‘as is’ in order to reproduce the above article. Miss MatchMaker does not endorse any products or services which may or may not be offered within any links included in the information below.  This article was found in Article City.

About The Author
Cucan Pemo
What Men Want – What Men Need – What Men Secretly Desire

http://www.500secretsaboutmen.com/aboutmen.html

Take a peek into his inner world and know what your man wants today! Secrets about his inner desires, wants and needs all revealed!
Tons of useful love tips, stories, news, amazing surveys, free articles about men.
Discover what men want and how you can allow him to fall hopelessly in love with you! Click here!

http://www.500SecretsAboutMen.com

Funny though, I got to thinking…why was it so hard to step off that 75 foot cliff?  I had my safety harness, something to hold on to and a big bouncy pillow to catch my fall.  I realized it was my aged wisdom that wanted to hold me back.

When we are young we take risks all the time.  As we get older we are less apt to take those risks and become more and more cautious with age.  In life however, we have no safety harness, no big bouncy pillows to catch our fall and sometimes we don’t even have anything to hold on to.  Yet maybe, just maybe, we should jump in life more often.  Maybe the risk is worth the exhilarating plunge.

When we are single that caution is sometimes exactly what keeps us single.  Maybe we need to walk straight off that single cliff and enjoy the free fall again.  So what if he is not there to catch our fall…worst case scenario we end up with a broken ankle…or heart.

At what point do we realize it’s more about the journey and not the destination.  We are old enough to know how to get from point A to point B but are we too old to enjoy the ride?

I want to be a little girl again; sometimes ignorance is bliss…and exhilarating!!

p.s.  Isn’t it time you tried something new and exciting? Submit your confidential profile today!

We are ALL looking for that special passion.  Urban dictionary explains that “za za zoo is a phrase to describe that undeniably charismatically sexy something in someone.”   So the puzzle is learning the difference between the Za Za Zoo and real love.  Should the Za Za Zoo be on the wants list or the needs list?   When the Za Za Zoo wears off are we left with something, anything we can really hold on to?

True love, real love is simple…“I’m looking for love.  Real love.  Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.”  Isn’t that what really matters anyway?  The kind of love I am talking about should be on the needs list and take the place of the Za Za Zoo, no?

We can try to define what we want and in the end we learn, “Normal is the halfway point between what you want and what you can get.”  Is that normal, reality, maybe just life…or maybe it is proportionate to what we have to offer.

“When it comes to relationships, maybe we’re all in glass houses, and shouldn’t throw stones.  Because you can never really know.  Some people are settling down, some are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less.  Than butterflies…”   Have we all become Za Za Zoo junkies and forgotten what really matters?

If we put Za Za Zoo on our needs list long enough, we grow to realize that maybe it should be moved over to the wants list because some needs just change or maybe we just grow up.  “That’s the thing about needs. Sometimes when you get them met, you don’t need them anymore.”

Maybe it’s all just too complicated.  Maybe we like it that way.   Maybe it was Hubble….and maybe, just “maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed.  Maybe they’re supposed to run wild until they find someone — just as wild — to run with.”

If you are a guy reading this I know at this point you must be totally confused.   But I know all my girls out there know exactly what I am talking about…“I revealed too much too soon.  I was emotionally slutty.”

Seriously, at what point do we stop analyzing the lists and just enjoy the process?

p.s.  If you need more than the Za Za Zoo submit your confidential profile today!

Many thanks to Carrie, Mick and a few others for the inspiration….

I found this one on youtube and just had to share…

Good luck out there!

p.s. When you are sick of playing around online and actually want to date submit your free confidential profile here!

Ten Reasons Why “The Bachelor” Does not Remotely Resemble Real Life:

I hate “The Bachelor” and think it is the stupidest show in the world. The worst thing about it though is that I watch the garbage. Anyone can fall in love in this show. I could probably fall in love with a trained monkey on that show the way they have it set up. Let’s take a little looksy as to why:
#1 In real life someone doesn’t dump you by giving you a rose. Usually you just never hear from them, hear some “It’s not you it’s me,” “this isn’t a good time for me,” or “I just can’t seem to afford you,” kind of crap.

#2 Anyone can fall in love in a fantasy date. Try falling in love while shopping or a new toilet. I would like to see a reality tv show about that. Let’s break down all the faulty aspects of these stupid “perfect dates” that are rare to exist in real life.

#3 Hair and Makeup: How can someone not love you when there is a hair and makeup lady around making you look perfect at all times? Men are all the same…they want the “natural look” but then they want to drool over the fakes high maintenance girl. My gawd do I really want someone to love me for my hair and makeup? Real love is someone loving you when they have seen you barfing your brains out with the stomach flu and mascara running down your face. Real love happens over home made spaghetti. True love is the kind of person you would actually wear “those pajamas” in front of. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about then I suggest you go buy some.

#4 Wardrobe: Have you ever shown up to a date and felt under dressed or over dressed? Well I prefer to error on the side of overdressing even though I would rather live my life in a track suit, however, it is EASY to look perfect for whatever fantasy date you are going on when you have wardrobe people dressing you and making you look perfect.

#5 A bunch of girls acting nice to each other on camera. Trust me the gossip we hear on the Bachelor is NOTHING compared to what we would here if 20 women were all dating the same man and NO cameras were rolling.

#6 Twenty girls fighting over one man. Now this is just bizarre to me. From an evolutionary standpoint men are always fighting over one woman. The sperms are always fighting over that one egg. The guys are always jostling at the bar to get your attention.

#7 Best behavior. I honestly think I will start video taping all my dates because then they will be forced to act on their best behavior at all times. Knowing your family is watching changes everything. Maybe we should all always act as if our family was watching. If your gramma would be ashamed of what you are doing or saying on a date should you do or say it?

#8 Feeling pressured by ratings to propose and ask someone that you have only been dating for six week, NON exclusively I might add…to marry you. Really this is why the show pisses me off the most. Don’t ask someone to marry you unless you sincerely believe in your heart that you will be those old people on the beach holding hands some day. This isn’t like going to Mongolia and putting some girls in a line and choosing a wife. Maybe in the end with the divorce rates being so high it doesn’t even matter who you choose to marry. But, I side with Indiana Jones on the search for that “simple wooden cup,” the Holy Grails that is sparkly, flashy, bedazzled and expensive are likely the ones to suck the bloody life out of you.

#9 The “chosen one” has to watch the Bachelor frolicking around on tv with all his other dates. I know I couldn’t handle that. I think it really is the meanest thing to wish on some poor girl.

#10 Have to wait three months to talk to your fiancé immediately after getting engaged. Now obviously the show in no way cares if the “winning couple” actually make it to the “I do” point, what they care about is ratings. However this is one inconsistency and unreality to the show that I think SHOULD be implemented to reduce the divorce rates. My great grandma had to wait in Sweden for a year for my grandpa to afford to return to America to get her. That takes a lot of faith, and a lot of trust.

What did I leave out?

Thanks for sharing Nicole!

p.s.  If you would like to be proactive and create your own reality submit your confidential profile today!

.

.

.

Would you bring me Ambrosia?

I would throw myself from a tower to get to the Underworld if it meant you would love me once more, but would I be lucky enough for the tower to guide me and give me direction?

I would walk to Tanaerum and back if only I knew you would be there waiting for me upon my return.

I would carry that golden box back to the Goddess herself if I knew you would be mine at the end of my long journey.

Could I be strong enough not to open it, for I am a mere mortal as she was herself and beauty does not last a lifetime for us mortals…

I would open that golden box to stay beautiful for you if I knew you would be there to wipe the sleep from my face and put it back in the box.

Would you stand in front of a council of the gods and beg for my immortality?

Do you love me in that way?

If only to find a love so deep and so true…

The Painting (click here) is “Psyche Opening the Goldenbox” by John William Waterhouse 1903.

Here’s to hoping we all find that love so deep and so true…

…and if you need a point in the right direction click here to submit your confidential profile!

I can say from personal experience that these avenues seem to be a better choice only because they give you a chance to get to know someone, their “projected” personality and who they “supposedly” are.  I use the terms in quotes lightly only because even on these social networks, there are still people who exaggerate the truth or try to be something they are not while hiding behind the computer screen.

My own personal experience has been mostly on myspace.  As a writer, what I witnessed was the down side of myspace;  the jealously, the fake profiles designed to “take someone down,” the rumors etc.  It became apparent that if you were one of the popular kids on the blogsphere you were putting yourself out there to be attacked in a high school manner.   The playground of the myspace blogsphere can be a very dangerous place.

I sat back on the sidelines and wrote a little poetry, prose and erotica but still ended up one of the popular kids with several thousand page views a day.  I watched some very talented writers suffer great turmoil on the playground and slowly lost my desire to write because of it.  Most of my creative writing sits on word documents now only to be shared with a select few and that page has died a slow death.  In the spirit of Valentines Day I plan to share a few of my past writes here on my site next week.

I have acquired several great friendships during my stint on myspace a few years ago and even witnessed a fairy tale story unfold before my very own eyes.  This particular couple actually had their wedding live on webcam last year for all of their myspace friends to see.

I watched other couples form and break up.  Saw first hand the heart break of long distance relationships failing. I read many stories of unrequited love.  I watched deep passions develop and dissolve.  I saw true love blossom despite the oceans that separated them physically.

So tell me, do you have any love stories from the social networking sites?

p.s.  When you are tired of playing around online and would actually like to start dating submit your confidential profile here!

Essentially what it boils down to is the fear of unmet expectations!  As usual society dictates a certain manner of acceptable behavior for us which generate anxiety over what should be a blissful day.  I personally blame chick flicks and romantic comedies for this!  Oh, so flowers or a heart shaped box of chocolates is not enough?  Seriously, if your man is not a romantic everyday how can you expect much more then the typical gifts that society teaches us for this particular day?  They don’t watch chick flicks!  lol

Romance may not be every man’s forte!  I would think just knowing that he cares would be enough.  Maybe he might not be skilled in the art of poetry or just doesn’t know to spread rose petals all over the bed before you get home but at least you know he cares every day!

So all I am trying to say is cut the man a break!  Be thankful that you don’t have to spend the evening alone with a bottle of Moet and rejoice in your singleness and end up shedding a few tears because you don’t have anyone who knows you prefer daisies over roses…lol!

Just saying…

So which is worse?  Having someone you love to spend Valentines Day with or having no one at all and spending it alone?

p.s.  If you don’t want to spend Valentines Day alone submit your confidential profile today!

What we all want is to find that person who fulfills what needs we are missing.   We want the other half who completes us.  How do we find that amongst thousands of clichés?  Where is the romance, the passion?  How can you tell if the butterflies are there by reading a few clichés and looking at a picture.   We fall in love with someone because of some qualities and despite others.   This can only be done in person, which means you actually have to date!

Have we forgotten what romance is all about?   In this day and age of convenience, has online dating become the drive through in which you place your order and hope that when you pull up to the window Mr./Miss Right is all packaged up and ready for you to live happily ever after?

I can see myself now pulling up to the drive through, reviewing the menu and ordering him up…“Yes please I’ll take the # 1 Mr. Right Combo.  The one who can protect me from all evils, has the ability to support me, will make love to me like no other man ever has.   Oh but you can hold the good genetics because I already have a child.  And could you toss in a side of romance and laughter for me…”  With my luck they would be all out of # 1’s and I’d be stuck trying to choose between #’s 2 & 3 attempting to read between the lines full of clichés.  The curse of a matchmaker lol…a blog for another day!

Seriously people!   Get off the computer and get back in the real world where you can actually meet real people and take the time to get to know them because we are all perfectly imperfect!

Just saying…

p.s.  If you are not sure where to start in the real world let me help you!   Submit your confidential profile today!

The funny thing is they didn’t even meet online, they meet through friends.  She had no idea that he was even on the dating site.  Needless to say, it was of course a very defining moment for her.  Which lead us to the conversation of why it is so hard for some people to STOP looking when they have a good thing right under their nose.

Fear of commitment is what we settled on in her particular situation.  After all he was 40 and NBM!  Did he think he was going to get a better deal?  Is he always going to be looking around for something better to come along?  I suppose now-a-days being exclusive means “I’m deleting my profile.”  How pathetic is that?

The conversation quickly turned to:  “I want a man who only wants me.  A man who can give me his undivided attention.  A man who doesn’t look at other women.  A man who is strong enough to hold up my pedestal.  A man who doesn’t want to meet ‘new people.’  A man who loves me on good days and bad days.  Is that too much to ask?”

She made her decision that he was not the man she wanted and ended it with grace and dignity thanks to my advice on what NOT to do…lol!

Another hard lesson learned.  If you are seeing someone at what point do YOU take down you online dating profile?  Just asking…

I don’t have a magic wand and can not create the perfect person for anyone.  I believe we are all perfectly imperfect and that there is someone out there for everyone it’s just a matter of finding that needle in the hay stack and that is what I do.  My staff and I actually take the time to get to know each and every person we work with and that is what makes us successful.  There is no computer program, no video library and no gimmicks…it’s all about understanding human behavior and needs.

I also believe that we are so successful because unlike the online services out there, I get to decide who I want to work with.  I do not have an open door policy where anyone can just walk in and join.  I am very particular about who I work with and believe it or not but there is actually a qualifying and screening process to make sure I only have serious and sincere people involved.

I think it’s important to let you know that if you are online filling out profiles for dating, chances are that profile will end up on my desk if you live in the local Gulf Coast area.  What we do is weed through hundreds of these profiles to find people who seem to have what our existing clients are looking for.  So if you get a phone call from us there is a reason.

If you have any more questions feel free to email me personally Denise@MissMatchMaker.net or simply pick up the phone and give us a call (850) 269-0322.

p.s. What are you waiting for? Submit your free confidential profile today!

Think about it, once a month we feel bloated, irritated and want to be left alone. Well so do they! They just don’t have they same physical symptoms as we do…

Yes, he is going to pull away after a month or so of good times! It scares the *#@% out of him that he may actually have something worth while. Some call it the pull away phase and if you can survive that, you have it made. Others believe it is more about his time to re-establish his independence. Once he sees you have given him his space, he will typically come running back when he realizes he doesn’t even really want it.

It is not a matter of whether he is or is not that “into you.” It is more about how you handle the situation at hand. You can not control anyone’s behavior but your own, so control your behavior ladies! When you chase him down and confess your new found undying love for him don’t expect it back in return, just look for the skid marks in your driveway. BUT, if you give him enough time to realize what he’s got, without you pushing it in his face, you may be pleasantly surprised at what you get in return.

Enjoy the snow storm sweet girl, I told you he would show up! We are all a little loco every once in awhile… and so are they! Merry Christmas lovie!

p.s. What are you waiting for?Submit your free confidential profile today!

Alec gives us advise on dating that tends to follow my own train of thought,  KIS…keep it simple.

• Comb your hair and don’t wear sweats.
• If you say hi and a girl says hi back, you’re probably off to a good start.
• Control your hyperness and cut down on sugar if necessary.
• A crush is like a love disease that can drive you mad.
• Make sure you have good friends who don’t try to take the girl you like.
• Class clowns never make a good partner.

Alec advises that pretty girls should be off limits:  “The best choice for most boys is a regular girl. Remember, some pretty girls are coldhearted when it comes to boys. Don’t let them get to you.”

In Chapter Three he writes:  “It is easy to spot pretty girls because they have big earrings, fancy dresses and all the jewelry.”  Poor Alec really has no idea what he is in for come high school.

I wish Alec all the best when it actually comes time for him to start dating.  As for the rest of us, well…we’ll just try to keep it simple!  If any of you really do need some help with your dating life I have just opened up my new page offering “Personal Services” for the more mature audience.

Good luck out there Alec!

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

If you are among the singles out there that keep ending up with the wrong one, Paul A. Falzone, CEO of The Right One and Together Dating, one of the world’s largest brick-and-mortar dating service with more than 60 offices nationwide, has a few tips to help you out of your dating rut and create a fresh approach to dating in the new year. (original article posted here)

‘Dating is a lot like when you learned to ride a bike when you were a kid.  Sure, you fell off the bike a time or two, but you kept getting back on, never forgetting what made you fall off.  Fortunately with dating, you have the benefit of learning from others how not to fall the next time,’ said Falzone.

So, how do you begin the new year with a fresh outlook on dating?  Here are some tips for finding the right one in the new year:

Take a look at your past relationships.  Although you may not have a ‘type’, did each relationship have something in common?  Do you choose partners based on how they make you feel (important in front of your friends, needed, over-protected, etc.)?

Leave enough time between the end of one relationship and the beginning of the next.  When a relationship ends on a bad note, it is normal to seek the attention of another, but be sure your wounds are healed first.

Consider a dating hiatus.  What you really might need is ‘you’ time.  Focus on yourself for three to six months before getting back to dating.  Try boosting your self-esteem without a partner.  Find new people to spend time with or new hobbies to enjoy.  This may help you adopt a fresh attitude towards relationships.

Give new relationships proper time to develop.  Enjoy each phase as it comes and do not rush it.  Approach each date as a chance to have fun and evaluate the true person.

You can read the rest of this article here.  Paul Falzone is a dear friend of mine who operates both The Right One and Together Dating.  Many thanks to Paul for granting me permission to re post this article.  If you are single and would like more information on The Right One and Together Dating click on the logos below and follow the link.

If you live locally on the Gulf Coast, don’t forget to submit your profile now because the holiday season is my busiest time of the year!  Who will you be kissing at midnight on New Year’s Eve?

In order to find what you are looking for you have to have a clear understanding of who you are and what you truly want, a vision so to speak.  Then and only then can you lay out a specific plan on how you are going to achieve your goal.  When making a plan you must consider what has worked and what has failed for you in the past.  If we do not learn from our mistakes we are condemned to repeat them.  However, the most important part in achieving your goal is to follow through.  You can’t just give up when you hit a bump in the road.

Always remember to accept responsibility and don’t make excuses.  When you blame others or situations, you put them in control and not you.  The only behavior you can control is your own.  Understand that people will treat you in the manner of which you allow them to treat you.  The only one in charge of your destiny should be YOU!

Attracting the person of your dreams is absolutely and totally within reach for anyone who sets their mind to it and approaches it with this mind set.  Keeping that person is a lesson for another day…

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

The greatest compliment you can pay someone is your undivided attention.  In this day and age of technology we have learned to become masters of multitasking.  You can be on the phone, check your email and read a text message all at once and on the same gadget!  While this may be great for your career it will not be all that great when it comes to getting a second date.  Rule number one: leave your really cool new fruit (which ever you may own) in the car!

If you are going to make the time in your day to spend with someone MAKE the time in your day and make that time special.  Everything else can wait and if it can’t, don’t bother making the date in the first place.  Even when you turn your gadget to silent or vibrate it makes no difference if you are constantly checking your missed calls, text messages or email.  Telling someone they look good or you like their outfit means nothing when you are not even looking at her/him.  Do you want to really learn how to compliment someone?

Let me repeat myself: the greatest compliment you can pay someone is your undivided attention! Look into their eyes, not all around them.  Listen, no really listen and hear what the other person is saying.  Ask questions that pertain to the conversation at hand.  Acknowledge that you understand how that person sitting in front of you actually feels.  Learn how to make that person feel as if they are the only person in the world at that very moment in time!

Learning how to pay attention to someone could make the difference on whether you remain single or have someone to kiss goodnight on a regular basis.  And for those of you in a relationship, it could mean the difference between a kiss goodnight and sleeping on the couch.  I am just saying…it’s not the fruit you need to be worrying about going bad now is it?

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

The number one thing to remember when studying body language is to look for clusters.  Don’t ever make an assumption based on one element of what you interpret someones body to be speaking.  Her arms may be crossed because she is actually cold.

We all know that maintaining eye contact is a good thing but while you are doing it there is one thing you should be paying attentions to, their pupils.  A good sign that someone is really interested in you is an increase in pupil size.  The eyes can’t lie.  I have yet to master the skill of regulating my pupil size and that is probably a good thing!

Look at where you are “pointing.”  When a you point your feet, toes, shoulders and even hips towards the other person this is saying you are interested in who they are and what they have to say.  This is giving them the green light to keep going.  If you see someone in a social setting and they are pointing towards you this means it is okay to approach especially when it is done after you have exchanged eye contact for 3-4 seconds.

Self grooming behaviors such as a women fixing her hair or a man picking a piece of lint off his shirt are also green lights.  It is human nature to want to look our best when we are with someone we feel attracted to.

Modeling or mirroring behavior is another good sign that shows interest.  When you catch someone following your positive body language it is definitely a plus.  Try this at work or at a social setting first to get a good feel for it.  If they place their hand on the table, wait 3-4 seconds and you place your hand on the table.  Keep mirroring hand placement and they will keep talking to you.

There are so many things you can learn about body language and the messages we are conveying.  Take the time to educate yourself and see what a difference it can make in your confidence, dating and relationships.

Most importantly, remember to smile.  We are all so much more attractive when we are smiling!

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

When is the last time you helped an old lady cross the street?  When is the last time you felt a sense of accomplishment?  When is the last time you felt unique or special?  When is the last time you felt real joy?  When is the last time you felt like you really mattered to someone else?  When is the last time you learned something new and grew as a person?

Sometimes we get stuck in our comfort zones and forget to actually live!  Maybe it is because we like the certainty of knowing exactly what to expect out of the safe and secure life we have built.  To me it is really just a cop out when we function through an existence and forget how to live.  Are we really that afraid of change?  Possibly even scared of being hurt again…and doesn’t that life of comfort become stifling and painful within itself?  This is a form of self isolation we create by choosing only to exist.

We exist because we have to but we live because we choose to.  It is okay to crave something different.  It is okay to spice things up a little even if it just means taking the long way home.  While you are at it, stop to pick a wild flower from the side of the road and then give it to a complete stranger.  Sign up for dance lessons, reconnect with an old friend, make a new friend, plant a tree, get a pet, learn a new language, offer the neighbor to help bring in the groceries, buy a new outfit, change your hair color, something, anything, please just try something new!

So stop and look around, what small changes can you make in your life?  Think of three, just three things you can do differently that will make you smile.  Now go do them and when you are done maybe, just maybe, you will be ready to date again!

THIS is the difference between living and existing…

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

Online dating is great for those who want to hide behind the computer and play games.  Think about it for a second, where else can a woman go to find a potential mate without having to do her hair and makeup?  Men can over exaggerate their income and they honestly believe it makes them more attractive.  They have a mentality of “if everyone is doing it, why can’t I…?”  Peer pressure allows for this mentality.

For those who are interested in casual dating and not a serious relationship, it may be worth spending hours online sorting through profiles in the new bar scene of the 21st century.  I don’t understand how this going to lead to a long term healthy relationship any better then the local bar scene would?

MSNBC.com’s The Red Tape Chronicles states:  “Even The New York Times best-seller “Freakonomics” took some nasty swipes at online love. The book cited a study by two economists and a psychologist that found troubling statistics concerning online dating and dishonesty. For example, how could 4 percent of online daters be earning $200,000 a year, when less than 1 percent of the Internet population does? And while we’re at it, how could 70 percent of women have above-average looks? Then there’s this: 57 percent of men studied who posted a profile — more than half — never received a single e-mail.”

I am sure online dating has worked for some people, but being a matchmaker I only get to hear all the horror stories of online dating.  People usually come to me after they have exhausted all other avenues of meeting new people.  I listen to the failures of online dating every day and it makes me wonder why people actually bother?

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

PEA is commonly referred to as the “love molecule” in the world of science.  It works as a neurotransmitter to release endorphins that encourage a feel good cocktail to flow through your brain.

Have you meet anyone new and intriguing lately?  Butterflies in the belly, sweaty palms, can’t sleep, can’t concentrate, not really sure what to say next?  This is when your brain is producing PEA which in turn triggers monoamines.  Monoamines are the brain chemicals that excite us and make us feel happy.  Dopamine, norepihephrine and serotin can be a very addictive and they play a strong role in this part of a new romance.

Chocolate has long been associated with love and romance.  It is Cupid’s candy.  We give chocolate as a gift to our lover on Valentines Day.  PEA compound is found in chocolate and it is believed to be a positive mood enhancer.  It is thought that chocolate essentially mimics the brain chemistry of someone falling in love.  PEA is also found in strawberries, oh how I love chocolate covered strawberries!

It is believed that exercise increases the natural levels of PEA.  Studies have shown that PEA is responsible for “runners high.”  It is that feeling you get after a good work out when you push your body just a little further than you normally do, oh so addictive.  In March of 2008 The New York Times reported “Often, those who said they experienced an intense euphoria reported that it came after an endurance event.”  Hmmm…

My name is Miss MatchMaker and I am a chocoholic who just got home from the gym and caught myself thinking about a boy while eating a strawberry lol…we all are naturally addicted to PEA!

How do you get your fix?

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

One of the most appealing thing to us is your CONFIDENCE!  It is the way you carry yourself when you enter a room.  It is they way you make eye contact from across the room. It is the way you show no fear when you walk up to us and strike up a conversation.   Essentially it is your belief in your self that shows in your body language.

Please understand there is a fine line between confidence and acting cocky!  Cockiness can be very unattractive so be careful not to cross that line.  No one finds that attractive.  Remember it is not what you say, it is how you say it.

What this means is that no matter what you look like you can still learn how to charm a woman with your confidence.  You can overcome the early balding, the few extra pounds or the fact that you may be vertically challenged.  All you have to do is feel good about yourself and maybe learn a few techniques in the art of body language.

We all know that men are visual but most women typically are not.  Many women recognize that when we get older and we are sitting on the porch swing with the man of our dreams it is not his looks that keep us interested, it is his character.  Looks can fade but the make up of a persons character is what we are left with in the end.  All I can tell you is that you may win us over with confidence more so then you would with that perfectly sculpted body and it is that confidence that will keep us around.

So take a look in the mirror guys.  Don’t ignore what you see because there is always room for improvement but understand, it is not what you see that really matters.  It is how you exude that confidence and it will win us over just about every time!

And by the way…we also dig nerds but that is a blog for another day!

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

Yet some caregivers carry that need to be needed into dating and relationships.  This is never a wise decision but it is their nature.  It helps them feel good about them self…and then, they end up feeling bad.

I could take a caregiver and place them in a room with 100 other people and the caregiver will automatically gravitate toward the one person in the room who is screwed up!  It is almost magnetic at times.    A caregiver is always is attracted to defective people and situations.  This is why they end up in bad or even abusive relationships.  Most of the time caregivers don’t even realize how much pain they have caused them self in their choices.

I see about 5 or 6 caregivers walk through my front door each week.  Most of them have had bad relationships in their past and many have been abused either emotionally or physically.  They are hesitant to make any decisions, move forward or try something new because they don’t even trust their own judgment anymore.

The reasons why caregivers come into my office is to break that vicious cycle, give themselves a chance at true love and being loved but most importantly, to stop the pain.  This however, is a hard thing for a caregiver to do because it means that they are now being taken care of instead of doing the care giving them self.

The first step in fixing a problem is recognizing that the problem does exist.  Next, is accepting it and preparing to do something positive to change the current situation.  The most important step is follow through.  Don’t just say you want to make changes, actually commit to doing something about it and then stick to it.  Don’t give up so quickly…

Sometimes it is nice to let others take care of you for a change!

I found another post that relates to Caregiver Syndrome: People Pleasing go check it out if you have a chance!

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

]]> http://www.missmatchmaker.net/2008/09/16/caregiver-syndrome/feed/ 18 http://www.missmatchmaker.net/2008/09/07/fears/ http://www.missmatchmaker.net/2008/09/07/fears/#comments Sun, 07 Sep 2008 08:18:25 +0000 Miss MatchMaker http://www.matchmakergulfcoast.com/blog/?p=3 We all have them, not all of us are able to admit to them! Once we are able to identify our fears then we have to ask ourselves are we ready to conquer them?Until we make a concise decision to make a positive change in our life we are unable to move forward in a healthy direction.

Many people suffer greatly form the fear of REJECTION. This is very common in 90% of the single male population. With the fear of rejection comes shyness as well. Think about it why does that shy person sit alone in the corner at a party…they are afraid if they talk to someone it will only result in yet another rejection. Most people who suffer from the fear of rejection have a very hard time meeting new people and do not often put themselves in social situations where they can meet new people.

Some people suffer from the fear of INTIMACY. Not intimacy in the physical sense but in the emotional sense. It is a fear of letting someone close to their heart. This usually stems from a previous bad relationship and essentially is a fear of BEING HURT. Most people who suffer from this fear of intimacy tend to keep others at arms length therefore never allowing anyone to get to know the person they are inside. People who have this fear of intimacy tend fall into the next fear as well…

The fear of COMMITMENT is one in which a person can be dating someone special but they are always keeping their eyes open for something better to come along. Ultimately the other person in the relationship spots this after several attempts to take the relationship to a higher level which typically ends the relationship right then and there. A person with the fear of commitment typically loses what may have been their greatest love. This person makes me want to scream “open your eyes!”

Many people suffer also from a fear of BEING ALONE. These are people who stay in bad relationships or relationships that will never go far. They seek comfort in others even though they may not truly be in love. They tend to be in love with the idea of being in love and not in love with the person they are with. They jump from one relationship to the next and typically fall for the very first person that pays them a little bit of attention.

Sometimes all we need to do to conquer these fears is recognize them. Looking back at past relationships and establishing patterns can be a great mental exercise. If we don’t learn from our mistakes we are condemned to repeat them. Making a commitment to yourself that you are willing to face and conquer these fears is the first step to finding and attracting the right person for you!

I believe in speaking the truth out load because when you do, you can truly help people! Fear is temporary, regret is forever…

What are some of your fears?

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

Let’s start with dinner shall we…Dinner dates remind me of one thing, an inquisition!  You sit across the table from each other, already nervous, and then one of you starts with the questions…”so you are divorced, how long were you married, what happened, what do you do for work etc.!”  Let’s face it; it is like a round of ping pong with the questions flying back and forth across the table.  If you must choose dinner for your date please respect RULE #1 do not talk about past relationships!

A movie sounds like a great idea but not for a first or second date!  You sit in a dark theater next to each other and have absolutely no conversation at all!  How can you get to know someone by going to a movie together?

So now you are saying “well Miss MatchMaker you have totally just contradicted yourself!  Talk, don’t talk what are you talking about?”  You are right, but wait…there is a middle ground!!!!

On first dates we tend to be nervous already so I always recommend you do something fun, something that promote laughter and adrenaline.  When two people are having fun and laughing together you start off on the right path with your adrenaline pumping the right chemicals into your brain!

Think about it guys, how many times have you asked a woman out to dinner?  Do you really think you are the first guy to ask her out to dinner?  So you ask her out to dinner, what makes you think you are going to stand out from the other gazillion dinner dates she has had?

Ladies how many dinner dates have you been on?  You know it is hard to resist the temptation to start the interrogation questioning?  When you do that, how many times have you been asked out on a second date?

So what do you do?  I have created a list of FUN things to do for you here on the Gulf Coast!  All of these suggestions are to promote a great atmosphere to get to know one and other in a fun way.

Miniature Golf ~ Otherwise known as goofy golf for a reason!

Bowling ~  Not something you typically do everyday and who cares if you don’t know how!  That is the funny part it brings out laughter!

Go-karts  ~ Race your way to a smile!

Water Parks ~  Sliding down the water slides is a sure way to laugh!

Skydiving ~  Nothing like a good burst of adrenaline to get the chemistry going!

Parasailing ~  Another great adrenaline burst!

Bungee Jumping ~ How crazy is that!

Now you will notice all of the above suggestions get your laugh on and pump your adrenaline.  The reason I suggest this is because when you are laughing and your adrenaline is pumping it creates certain brain chemicals that are similar to those our brains produce when we fall in love!  I am by no means saying to fall in love on the first date but why not trick your brain into giving someone a chance at a second date!

We tend to make a decision on someone in the first 15 minutes of meeting.  This is human nature but we all know that first dates are easy to screw up by getting nervous and saying the wrong thing!  With the suggestions above we trick human nature into letting us get to know the other person and press fate to change our destiny!!!

Some other suggestions for the more laid back personality:

Picnic in the park ~  Maybe some cheese and wine in a basket and then a swinging on the swings trying to reach the stars!

Picnic on the Beach ~  Same idea minus the swings…

Dolphin Cruise ~  Enjoy nature and a small adventure on the water.

Canoe, tube or kayak ~  A relaxing day on the river in Milton could be quite romantic.

Dinner and Dance Cruise ~  Out of Baytowne Marina.  I have heard this is a great time!

Gulfairum ~  Something low key yet still fun!

The Zoo in Gulf Breeze ~  Don’t forget to go on the train ride!

Wine Tastings ~  One of my personal favorites!

If you have ever wondered why you are not getting a second date please try these alternatives to the typical “dinner and a movie.”

Your comments are appreciated here…

Do you have any suggestions?

What is the best date you have ever been on?

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

The most common way of falling into a state of denial is by being single for a long period of time.  A long period of time could be 6 months or 10 years, this varies by individual.  Some people need more affection and to these people, a long period of time could be 3 months.  Regardless of the length of time someone is single, the result is always the same.  When someone is single for a long period of time, relatives, friends, neighbors and co-workers start asking them when they are going to find someone and settle down, when are they going to get married etc.  After a while we get tired of making excuses or admitting that we don’t know where to meet the right people.  In this day and age it’s easy to meet people but hard to meet quality people so it’s certainly not anything to be ashamed of.

So we make excuses like:  I don’t need a man/woman, I don’t need the hassle, I prefer being single, I like being alone, I’m a confirmed bachelor, my job is more important to me, my children are more important to me, traveling is more important to me or I simply don’t have time to date.  Believe me there are plenty of excuses and I have heard them all, in fact I’ve even used some of them myself.

These are all invented excuses that we give to other people rather than having to admit that we do not have someone special in our life.  Unfortunately, if we say these things long enough, after a while, we start to believe them.  “If you lie long enough it becomes the truth.”  Of course, children, our career are important to us, but they are not excuses to stop wanting love and romance.  If anything, these things that are important in our life are enhanced by a good relationship.  Some people come in to my office and tell me that they don’t need anyone in their life.  Seriously!  Why would they take them time to fill out a profile, schedule an appointment and show up at my front door?

The second way we fall into this state of denial is what we call the “grieving phase.”  The break-up of a relationship or divorce is unfortunately just like death.  The stages or phases which you go through when someone dies are denial, anger, bargaining and than acceptance.  These are also the exact same phases which you go through when you break-up out of a marriage or relationship.  The third way you fall into a state of denial is obvious, of course, and that is actually losing someone you love to death.

Many single adults understand that they are in a state of denial and just need help in getting out of it.  They just need help in overcoming the problem.

Unfortunately, others do not even realize that they are in a state of denial.

Are you in a state of denial and if so, are you willing to do something about it?  Or are you too set in your ways or scared to do something about it?  Even though this is the most common problem we face, it is still hard to overcome…sink or swim!

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

I believe you have to have something to look forward to!  When will you see each other again!  If possible, alternate trips so that neither person feels that they are putting in more than the other.  The perfect case scenario would be that she flies up to see him for a long weekend and while she is there he books his flight for the following month to go see her and so on…WE ALL NEED SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO!

TEXT, TEXT and TEXT!  Just a thought here and there through out the day to show the other person you are thinking of them.  It could be sweet or sexy, either way it brings a smile to the other persons face!

WEBCAM!  Yes I know it’s not the real thing but it’s something!  You can actually see and talk to each other…I’ll just leave it at that!

SAY GOODNIGHT!  We are all busy during the day and to crawl in bed alone every night is difficult especially when you are in love!  Take the time each night to call and catch up, or at least just to say goodnight!  If you are the last person they talk to before they go to sleep you should be the first person they think of when they wake up!

I think the biggest thing here is TRUST!  You have to be secure enough in your relationship.  What I mean by this is you have to believe in your heart and soul that your love is stronger than anything else!  Had things worked out differently and he and I followed this advice well, maybe, just maybe…

Good luck girlfriend!

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

We are single because we CHOOSE to be single!  The moment we make a conscious decision that we don’t want to be single and we recognize that it is time to make a change in our life we are suddenly free to fall in love once more.

Many people have asked me why I am single.  “Why don’t you date?”  Well the answer is very simple…I CHOOSE not to!  This whole dating thing can be pretty nerve racking even for a matchmaker!  Hey there’s a thought, I could hire a matchmaker to weed out all the bs…

One of my friends, who happens to be a matchmaker as well, gave me the perfect answer… “I prefer to get to know someone socially before I will date them.”  This makes total sense because when you take the time to get to know someone first rather than just jumping because they are “hawt” or that “chemistry” feels right, it allows you to see what type of person they really are.

So I used that line one night last week as there was this guy persistently asking me out.  He sat there and told me about his divorce and that he was really a great guy and how pretty I looked bla bla bla…so after I repeated several times “I prefer to get to know someone socially before I will go out on a date with them” he graciously took my business card and said he’d give me a call.

About an hour later I notice said guy at the bar talking to the intoxicated “me so horny” girl.  Needless to say they left together and he never called.  I guess he didn’t need any help from a matchmaker…

Personally, I am smart enough to know that I am not open to a relationship at this point in my life.  (ok, maybe that’s just my excuse) but understand that most people don’t have this type of self recognition and that is why they consistently end up with failed relationships.  I am self aware, I am happy in my life and I know that there are still some issues I need to work through before I can open my heart to someone else.

Yes I too have a brick wall built up high and I am certainly not looking for anyone to come try and push it down…I would prefer my wall be taken down one brick at a time.

Everyday people choose to stay in bad relationships, people choose to be in relationships because they don’t want to be alone, people choose to be in relationships because in some way they believe it’s easier than being alone…these are all choices, sort of like running with scissors!

So being single for me is a choice!  One day I will again choose to date and maybe even fall in love, just not today…which leads me to the intellectual debate I have been having with one of my dear friends about LOVE.  I believe love is also a choice, but that’s a topic for another day…

So why do you choose to be single?

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

In this complicated world of dating and relationships I believe there are two very clear, black and white types of relationships.  I choose to define them in a very simple way at this point in my life…or maybe it’s just the cold medicine kicking in…LOL!

There are those people out there that help you.  People who are supportive in your decisions and life choices and inspire you to best the best person you can be. These are people you can count on, the ones that will always be there for you and put a smile on your face.

There are others out there that will hinder you.  The people who literally suck the life out of you each time your paths cross.  They always have a problem for you to fix. They never have anything nice to say and typically they are followed around by a grey cloud which eventually rains on your parade, if you let it.  The negativity just sticks to them like a shadow.

When applied to dating and relationships I am sure you can go back through the people you have been involved with and place them in one of these two categories.  Yes there is a middle ground but run with me on this for a second…

I am not saying to use this black and white theory and apply it in its general sense to all relationships but what I am saying is to take a look in the mirror, what do you see?  Do you want to be a helper or a hinderer?

A relationship can either double you or half you…what do you bring to the table?

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

And then…it stops!  He knows he has you and the efforts dwindle!  NO IT’S NOT THAT “HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU” it’s that he feels comfortable he has won your heart!  As women we tend to over analyze this part of the relationship and if we read too much into it sometimes it actually puts an end to the relationship!

So what do we do?

If you want someone to have a specific behavior, attribute to them those specific characteristics.

People feel compelled to act in a way that is consistent with way they see themselves and how others perceive them.  A person’s identity is their reality, so when you appeal to their identity, rather than focusing on negative actions, you get better results.

“I really have enjoyed the past few weeks with you and all of the little things you do to make me feel special I am so glad we are not that couple that just falls into a comfort zone and all the romantic gestures come to a screeching halt.  This is one of the things I like best about you and our relationship.”

Now got try it…it works!

Have you ever experienced the end of pursuit?  How did you handle it?

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!

I remember reading somewhere that if a women can’t afford to treat for an expensive dinner or gift than it is always best to do something little to show her appreciation.  I told her to review in her mind some of the things that are important to him, things he has shown an interest in and come up with a gift from the heart.  This shows that you have actually listened to him and remember his likes.

- For instance if he enjoys a certain type of music burn him a special CD of music that he will enjoy.

- A trip to the bookstore to find something you know he would be interested in.

- Take him to one of the old fashion photo booths where they spit out 3 or 4 silly pictures of the two of you.  This is always a fun way to spend time together and provides you with and opportunity make it into a creative card or gift to remind him of her fondness of him.

- If you spend the evening at his place, wake up before he does and put on the brightest lipstick you have.  Go into the bathroom and kiss his mirror precisely where it would fall on his cheek.  When he goes to the bathroom in the morning it will be the first thing he notices.

- Buy a pack of sticky notes and keep them in your purse, write something short and/or sexy than place them in odd places…like on the screen of his laptop so when he opens it up to start work for the day he starts his day with a smile.

Can you think of any other inexpensive kind gestures to recommend?

And MEN, how do you feel about this?  Would you truly appreciate a gift from the heart or would you think it was corny?

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!