The choices we make and why I am single…

People come into my dating service everyday and have all of their excuses lined up as to why they are single:  too busy, not meeting the right people, they don’t get out much, this town is too small… bla bla bla…well I am here to tell you STOP making excuses!

We are single because we CHOOSE to be single!  The moment we make a conscious decision that we don’t want to be single and we recognize that it is time to make a change in our life we are suddenly free to fall in love once more.

Many people have asked me why I am single.  “Why don’t you date?”  Well the answer is very simple…I CHOOSE not to!  This whole dating thing can be pretty nerve racking even for a matchmaker!  Hey there’s a thought, I could hire a matchmaker to weed out all the bs…

One of my friends, who happens to be a matchmaker as well, gave me the perfect answer… “I prefer to get to know someone socially before I will date them.”  This makes total sense because when you take the time to get to know someone first rather than just jumping because they are “hawt” or that “chemistry” feels right, it allows you to see what type of person they really are.

So I used that line one night last week as there was this guy persistently asking me out.  He sat there and told me about his divorce and that he was really a great guy and how pretty I looked bla bla bla…so after I repeated several times “I prefer to get to know someone socially before I will go out on a date with them” he graciously took my business card and said he’d give me a call.

About an hour later I notice said guy at the bar talking to the intoxicated “me so horny” girl.  Needless to say they left together and he never called.  I guess he didn’t need any help from a matchmaker…

Personally, I am smart enough to know that I am not open to a relationship at this point in my life.  (ok, maybe that’s just my excuse) but understand that most people don’t have this type of self recognition and that is why they consistently end up with failed relationships.  I am self aware, I am happy in my life and I know that there are still some issues I need to work through before I can open my heart to someone else.

Yes I too have a brick wall built up high and I am certainly not looking for anyone to come try and push it down…I would prefer my wall be taken down one brick at a time.

Everyday people choose to stay in bad relationships, people choose to be in relationships because they don’t want to be alone, people choose to be in relationships because in some way they believe it’s easier than being alone…these are all choices, sort of like running with scissors!

So being single for me is a choice!  One day I will again choose to date and maybe even fall in love, just not today…which leads me to the intellectual debate I have been having with one of my dear friends about LOVE.  I believe love is also a choice, but that’s a topic for another day…

So why do you choose to be single?

p.s.  What are you waiting for?  Submit your free confidential profile today!