eHarmony ~ A Social Experiment

tgAs a matchmaker I am always curious as to what others in the industry are doing.  I have heard a lot about most of the popular dating sites out there and have always been intrigued as to why so many people have told me they have been rejected by eHarmony.  In efforts to understand this I spent about 30 minutes completing their profile questions about me personally to see how accurately their matching would work.

I was surprised to find that there were only 5 compatible matches for me in a world wide search!  I suppose there is hope for me after all LOL!  However, this wasn’t totally an experiment about matching me.  It was more about how accurately I was analyzed and I have to admit, they hit the nail right on the head!

This is just one of the personality summaries about me and my interactions with other people.  I am best described as “USUALLY TAKING CARE OF OTHER.”

“Here’s one important truth about you:   you have a tender heart.  Yes, you know that others need to learn to take care of themselves.  Yes, you know they need to accept the consequences of their foolish or bad behavior.  And sometimes, even when your instinct is to help them, you will let them fend for themselves and let them suffer the consequences of their choices or circumstances.

But most of the time you are there to help when they need you.  If they are in trouble, you offer compassion and go out of your way to be helpful.  If they need someone who will listen, you are trustworthy and sympathetic.  And you are direct with them;  when they need advice or counsel, you offer it in a straightforward, direct manner, without beating around the bush.

You’re also smart enough to know that you cannot take good care of others if you fail to take good care of yourself, so you listen to your own wants and needs.  If you’ve run out of sympathetic energy, you spend time restoring yourself.  If you’ve ignored your own pain or frustration, you find a friend who will listen well, or go into your own private healing place and give yourself permission to focus on you.

But before long, you’re back at it with your friends, offering a sympathetic ear and compassion on which they learn to trust, also giving straightforward advice and counsel when they ask for it.  You do know how to take care of yourself, but your genuine interest is in taking care of others.”

I suppose this is what makes me good at what I do!

Kudos to you eHarmony for actually figuring me out LOL!  Unfortunately, after reviewing the 5 matches they came up with for me I would most definitely decline on all 5…oh well.  I am sure he is out there somewhere.  Maybe I should hire a matchmaker to find me a match…I’ll definitely pass on the online dating thing!  He should be showing up on his white horse any day now thanks to Mr. Right One LOL…at least I was not rejected by eHarmony!


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10 Responses to “eHarmony ~ A Social Experiment”

  1. Destin Girl

    I was an eharmony reject :( no worries! I can’t believe how accurately you are described above and yes it is what makes you a good matchmaker, because you care!

  2. Trish

    Well I tryed “craigs list” and dipped a toe in “plenty of fish” and No Luck, Still Stuck!
    The old fashioned was is not an option for me unfortunatly, because i don’t go out, I have my kids 98% of the time!
    So on-line is the only way to go for my life style.
    I wish, I had a Miss matchmaker in my town~
    Any chance of relocating?
    Or can you help from across the miles?
    Keep me updated,
    No Luck , Still Stuck, In Boston~~ ;)

  3. DW

    Miss Matchmaker I can’t imagine anyone figuring you out ;)

  4. Michelle Troon

    Hi Denise

    You sent me a friend request through facebook and I must say, I don’t really know you and was not sure whether or not to respond to your friendship. But to my surprise once I did, I realised you were in the MatchMaking industry. I am just about to start a business here in Queensland Autralia for a Match Making business…. have already registered the business name and just waiting to get everything in place.

    Could this be something you and I can discuss further? I have a few years under my belt as well and want to expore every possibility about Match Making / Dating and Coaching within the Industry. Any suggestions and ideas would greatly be appreciated and maybe I can help with your business and vice a versa?

    Let me know your thoughts.

    Lovely to me you, and if any else, we can just be friends and keep each other updated on whats happening.

    All the best and look forward to your response.

  5. Heidi

    Wow! I have been pegged by eHarmony as being exactly the same as you, its written WORD for WORD! Will have to show you, I printed them all out!

  6. bob ross

    e harmony “screwed” me too. I was just trying to be honest about what my situation was and they just wasted about 1 1/2 hours of my time as I was trying to be a sincere applicant. they could have told me from the beginning that I was not wanted. Anyone who hasn’t tried e harmony, don’t waste your precious time. Their ads are great, but their service sucks!

  7. SH

    eHarmony is quite deceptive. They string along their “members” by matching them with inactive non-members who can’t or won’t reply because they don’t use the system. They count these as a match for their guarantee. The system will also send quite a few matches right before the subscription ends to entice the user to sign back up. Then matches drop off. I’ve read there is an overabundance of paying women subscribers on the site. As a guy, I found the matches I was interest in never replied. It was a huge waste of money and time. I’ve tried it about 3 times over the past several years.

    The limit is 5 matches a day. It has nothing to do with how many are compatible. Their rule engine simply won’t send more than 5 a day. I seem to remember I found this explained somewhere on their site.

    The “personality profile” asks a lot of questions but is not really that sophisticated. Statements they make about the “analysis” can be read a lot of different ways. People tend to try to see themselves in what they read when they’re told it’s about themselves, especially if they feel it’s flattering. If someone wants a real personality profile, they’re better off taking a legitimate, proven, scientific test, like the MMPI. The eHarmony test is basically good entertainment.

  8. SH

    Here’s a personable and refreshing online dating approach just launched in London for the international crowd :o )

    Ask a friend to profile you. Accept blind dates. Join “The Lounge” and get invited to parties and events hosted by like-minded individuals registered on the site… benefiting charities.

    Quite sweet and clever, and featured this week in DailyCandy London.

  9. Dorothy L

    Hello…call me old school but the online dating services have not been successful with very many people that I have had the pleasure of speaking with.
    I know they have their testimonials and all of the guarantees and yes, they do succeed in matching people by their bio’s and do serve as a connector….so, technically they do what they set out to do.

    It is the actual relationship success that I have yet to see a long term result in.
    Then again…it is not nice to fool Mother Nature and after-all she is the one in charge:)

    I have enjoyed reading your posts.

    Have a great day!
    .-= Dorothy L´s last blog ..Love..Lust..Sex! =-.

  10. Clarissa Silva

    It really demonstrates flaws in their algorithm. I, too, have wondered how their selection works. Since some of my friends have been rejected and there is no outstanding flaw with them.

    Yet, they do have a research institute, most subscribers, lots of ad dollars to spend, and the only dating site created by a psychologist.

    I tried it back in my single days and found the same people on! lol

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