Rant from a 30 something…

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disneyWhat works for you in your 20′s could be your relationship demise in your 30′s…

Dating in your thirties, I feel is different then dating in your twenties, or your teens. Well of course you say, its uncharted territory, and ever changing with time. We are ever changing with time. We grow, we become more knowledgeable, sometimes more jaded.

In your twenties, we are still bright eyed and bushy tailed, looking for “the one” Un-jaded by life, still optimistic. The world is your oyster. Maybe you wind up with a divorce under your belt, but you’re still able to write it off as you have nothing but time and that was just one mistake. Everyone is entitled to mistakes right? Its part of life! It is how you learn. So you vow to yourself that you will grow and not make the same mistakes again.

Into your thirties, you more then likely have at least one divorce under your belt, maybe more, maybe even children. Vowing along the way to not make the same mistakes again.

I think there is something in us women though to think that it all needs to go with our “time-line”. This is how it has always been in every other relationship you’ve had and that’s how things are supposed to be. (In your mind that is) Anything less is settling.

But if we let our smarter selves do the thinking, isn’t the way you’ve done it every time before been unsuccessful? Why not change it up a bit?

We tend to gear ourselves towards, it shouldn’t be this complicated, love should be easy. Is that our Inner 20 something talking? (the naive person?)

Let’s face it, by our thirties each party has a good amount of baggage that we are bringing to the table. Neither of you are young and naive and thinking the world is your oyster anymore. After all neither of you has gotten it right yet now have you? This breeds doubt, why should this relationship be any different from the rest?

I no longer think there is “the one”. Yes this hurts a little. Thinking that everything that Walt Disney and every chick flick ever made was only feeding me lies. But maybe its not being jaded maybe its being more of a realist.

Isn’t it more naive to think that in your thirties both parties would be able to jump in feet first and not look back? Knowing the circumstances how is that possible? Maybe we all need to grow up.

At the end of the day, you have you’re issues, he has his. And it comes down to whether you are both willing to work on them or not. Either of you could give in to fear, turn tail and run. Taking that chance is scary as hell. But isn’t the option of never trying scarier?

Maybe we should stop looking at relationships and how they “should be”. Does the good outweigh the bad, are you overall happy? Who’s going to jump in and say that’s settling…. I know you’re out there somewhere. Is it really settling, or just being smart?

Guest Author: Shannon Murphy

Thanks for sharing Shannon!  I love it!


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7 Responses to “Rant from a 30 something…”

  1. Shannon

    Nothing like a good morning rant! Not even a rant so much as an awakening.

  2. Miss MatchMaker

    Awakenings are typically a good thing in the morning ;)


  3. jersey

    I love you ladies who are in your twenty tens=) xo

  4. Miss MatchMaker

    I am starting to use use to the concept lol


  5. Shannon

    Im glad every morning I wake up! Bring on the nexy challenge, I mean really what can’t I handle?!?!?!?!?!

  6. Trish

    The world is our oyster in our 20s, we are “the cats meow”, we are the rulers and champions of the game. We play, and practice, and fail, but’s that’s ok,
    because time ( not to mention looks) are on our side. We just have ourselves, of corse, our personalities, etc. but that’s it. No baggage! What you see is what you get. Plain and simple, and Simple is the key world to dating in your 20s.
    Men are a dime a dozen, and “there are plenty of fish in the sea” was certainly not a web-site in 1994~ now was it girls?
    Our 30s…. well, we’ve been jaded, hurt, abused, bruised.
    (not phycially, necessarily, but mentally and emotionally exausted!)
    We are tired, inside and out, we find fault, blame, we carry chips on our shoulders and protect ourselves from anything that may harm us.
    We are soldiers in the world of men and the hurt they can do.
    We carry baggage~ kids, jobs, divorces, stress, ex-husbands to deal with, etc.! It’s hard!
    The good news is, we are stronger than ever before! We have been molded to the image you see now, before the mirror.
    No longer confused, the lollipop world has withered away… or has it?
    Watch out world, here we come, 30s and proud as Hell!

  7. Friendster

    I just happen to be passing by when I read your post. Very nice post! Keep up the good work!

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