Rant from a single girl…

My friend Nicole posted this her facebook and I asked her if I could re-post it here because it is just too perfect…

Ten Reasons Why “The Bachelor” Does not Remotely Resemble Real Life:

I hate “The Bachelor” and think it is the stupidest show in the world. The worst thing about it though is that I watch the garbage. Anyone can fall in love in this show. I could probably fall in love with a trained monkey on that show the way they have it set up. Let’s take a little looksy as to why:
#1 In real life someone doesn’t dump you by giving you a rose. Usually you just never hear from them, hear some “It’s not you it’s me,” “this isn’t a good time for me,” or “I just can’t seem to afford you,” kind of crap.

#2 Anyone can fall in love in a fantasy date. Try falling in love while shopping or a new toilet. I would like to see a reality tv show about that. Let’s break down all the faulty aspects of these stupid “perfect dates” that are rare to exist in real life.

#3 Hair and Makeup: How can someone not love you when there is a hair and makeup lady around making you look perfect at all times? Men are all the same…they want the “natural look” but then they want to drool over the fakes high maintenance girl. My gawd do I really want someone to love me for my hair and makeup? Real love is someone loving you when they have seen you barfing your brains out with the stomach flu and mascara running down your face. Real love happens over home made spaghetti. True love is the kind of person you would actually wear “those pajamas” in front of. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about then I suggest you go buy some.

#4 Wardrobe: Have you ever shown up to a date and felt under dressed or over dressed? Well I prefer to error on the side of overdressing even though I would rather live my life in a track suit, however, it is EASY to look perfect for whatever fantasy date you are going on when you have wardrobe people dressing you and making you look perfect.

#5 A bunch of girls acting nice to each other on camera. Trust me the gossip we hear on the Bachelor is NOTHING compared to what we would here if 20 women were all dating the same man and NO cameras were rolling.

#6 Twenty girls fighting over one man. Now this is just bizarre to me. From an evolutionary standpoint men are always fighting over one woman. The sperms are always fighting over that one egg. The guys are always jostling at the bar to get your attention.

#7 Best behavior. I honestly think I will start video taping all my dates because then they will be forced to act on their best behavior at all times. Knowing your family is watching changes everything. Maybe we should all always act as if our family was watching. If your gramma would be ashamed of what you are doing or saying on a date should you do or say it?

#8 Feeling pressured by ratings to propose and ask someone that you have only been dating for six week, NON exclusively I might add…to marry you. Really this is why the show pisses me off the most. Don’t ask someone to marry you unless you sincerely believe in your heart that you will be those old people on the beach holding hands some day. This isn’t like going to Mongolia and putting some girls in a line and choosing a wife. Maybe in the end with the divorce rates being so high it doesn’t even matter who you choose to marry. But, I side with Indiana Jones on the search for that “simple wooden cup,” the Holy Grails that is sparkly, flashy, bedazzled and expensive are likely the ones to suck the bloody life out of you.

#9 The “chosen one” has to watch the Bachelor frolicking around on tv with all his other dates. I know I couldn’t handle that. I think it really is the meanest thing to wish on some poor girl.

#10 Have to wait three months to talk to your fiancé immediately after getting engaged. Now obviously the show in no way cares if the “winning couple” actually make it to the “I do” point, what they care about is ratings. However this is one inconsistency and unreality to the show that I think SHOULD be implemented to reduce the divorce rates. My great grandma had to wait in Sweden for a year for my grandpa to afford to return to America to get her. That takes a lot of faith, and a lot of trust.

What did I leave out?

Thanks for sharing Nicole!


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