Active within 24 hours!
I can’t tell you how many times I have heard of that one phrase destroying a potentially good relationship. Most recently I was talking a good friend in DC down from what could have been a very self destructive plan. She had been dating this guy for about 2 months and decided it was time to take down her online dating profile. When she signed on (after not signing on in two months) she chuckled because the site had generated a new match for her and it was her new boyfriend. She went to his profile out of curiosity and discovered that he was “Active within 24 hours!”
The funny thing is they didn’t even meet online, they meet through friends. She had no idea that he was even on the dating site. Needless to say, it was of course a very defining moment for her. Which lead us to the conversation of why it is so hard for some people to STOP looking when they have a good thing right under their nose.
Fear of commitment is what we settled on in her particular situation. After all he was 40 and NBM! Did he think he was going to get a better deal? Is he always going to be looking around for something better to come along? I suppose now-a-days being exclusive means “I’m deleting my profile.” How pathetic is that?
The conversation quickly turned to: “I want a man who only wants me. A man who can give me his undivided attention. A man who doesn’t look at other women. A man who is strong enough to hold up my pedestal. A man who doesn’t want to meet ‘new people.’ A man who loves me on good days and bad days. Is that too much to ask?”
She made her decision that he was not the man she wanted and ended it with grace and dignity thanks to my advice on what NOT to do…lol!
Another hard lesson learned. If you are seeing someone at what point do YOU take down you online dating profile? Just asking..